Sunday, 20 August 2017


Nickelback- S.E.X.

Games People Play

The Psychology of Human Relationships

byEric Berne, MD


Some games are played to exploit or fight off sexual impulses. These are all, in effect, perversions of the sexual instincts in which the satisfaction is displaced from the sexual act to the crucial transactions which constitute the payoff of the game. This cannot always be demonstrated convincingly, because such games are usually played in privacy, so that clinical information about them has to be obtained second-hand, and the informants bias cannot always be satisfactorily evaluated. The psychiatric conception of homosexuality, for example, is heavily skewed, because the more aggressive and successful ‘players’ do not often come for psychiatric treatment, and the available material mostly concerns the passive partners.


Heterosexual perversions such as fetishism, sadism and masochism are symptomatic of a confused Child and are treated accordingly. Their transactional aspects, however, as manifested in actual sexual situations, can be dealt with by means of game analysis. This may lead to social control, so that even if the warped sexual impulses remain unchanged, they are neutralised as far as actual indulgence is concerned.


This game is played between a man and a woman which might more politely be called, in the milder forms at least, ‘kiss off’ or ’indignation’. It may be played with varying degrees of intensity.

1. First-Degree ‘Rapo’, or ‘Kiss Off’, is popular at social gatherings and consists essentially of mild flirtation. White signals that she is available and get her pleasure from the mans pursuit. As soon as he has committed himself, the game is over. If she is polite, she may say quite frankly ” I appreciate your compliments and thank you very much”, and move onto the next conquest. If she is less generous, she may simply leave him. A skilful player can make this game last for a long time at a large social gathering by moving around frequently, so that the man has to carry out complicated manoeuvres in order to follow her without being too obvious.

2. In Second-Degree ‘Rapo’, or ‘Indignation’, White gets only secondary satisfaction from Black’s advances. Her primary gratification comes from rejecting him, so that this game is also colloquially known as ‘Buzz Off, Buster’. She leads Black into a much more serious commitment than the mild flirtation of the first degree ‘Rapo’ and enjoys watching his discomfiture when she repulses him. Black, of course is not as helpless as he seems, and may have gone to considerable trouble to get himself involved. Usually he is playing some variation of ‘Kick me’.

3. Third-Degree ‘Rapo’ is a vicious game which ends in murder, suicide or the courtroom. Here, White leads Black into compromising physical contact and then claims that he has made a criminal assault or has done her irreparable damage. In its most cynical form White may actually allow him to complete the sexual act so that she gets enjoyment before confronting him. The confrontation may be immediate, as in the illegitimate cry of rape, or it may be long delayed, as in suicide or homicide following a prolonged love affair. If she chooses to play it as a criminal assault, she may have no difficulty in finding mercenary or morbidly interested allies, such as the press, the police, counsellors and relatives. Sometimes, however, these outsiders may cynically turn on her, so that she loses the initiative and becomes a tool in their games.

In some cases outsiders perform different function. They force the game on an unwilling White because they want to play ‘Let’s You And Him Fight’. They put her in such a position that in order to save her face or her reputation she has to cry rape. This is particularly apt to happen girls under the legal age of consent; they may be quite willing to continue a liaison, but because it is discovered or made an issue of, they feel constrained to turn the romance into a game of Third-Degree ‘Rapo’.

In one well-known situation, the wary Joseph refused to be inveigled into a game of ‘Rapo’, whereupon Potiphar’s wife made the classical switch into ‘Let’s You And Him Fight’, an excellent example of the way a hard player reacts to antithesis, and of the danger that beset people who refuse to play games. These two games are combined in the well-known ‘Badger Game’, in which the woman seduces Black and then cries rape, at which point her husband takes charge and abuses Black for the purpose of blackmail.

One of the most unfortunate and acute forms of Third-Degree ‘Rapo’ occurs relatively frequently between homosexual strangers, who in a matter of an hour or so may bring the game to a point of homicide. The cynical and criminal variations of this game contribute a large volume to sensational newspaper copy.

The childhood prototype of ‘Rapo’ is the same as that of ‘Frigid Woman’, in which the little girl induces the boy to humiliate himself or get dirty and then sneers at him, as classically described by Maugham in Of Human Bondage and by Dickens in Great Expectations. This is Second Degree. A harder form, approaching Third-Degree may be played in tough neighbourhoods.

The man's ability to avoid becoming involved in this game or to keep it under control depends on his capacity to distinguish genuine expressions of feeling from moves in the game. If he is thus able to exert social control, he maintained a great deal of pleasure from the mild flirtations of ‘Kiss Off’. On the other hand it is difficult to conceive of a safe antithesis to the Potiphar's wife manoeuvre, other than checking out before closing time with no forwarding address.

The male versions of ‘Rapo’ are notoriously found in commercial situations: ‘Casting Couch’ (and then she didn't get the part)’ and ‘Cuddle Up’ (and then she got fired).

The following analysis refers to Third-Degree ‘Rapo’ because there the elements of the game are more dramatically illustrated.

Aim: malicious revenge.
Roles: seductress, wolf.
Dynamics (Third-Degree): penis envy, oral violence. ‘Kiss Off’ is phallic, while ‘Indignation’ has strong anal elements.
Examples: (1) I’ll tell on you, you dirty little boy. (2) Wronged woman.
Social Paradigm: Adult-Adult.
Adult (male): “I'm sorry if I went further than you intended to.”
Adult (female): “You have violated me and must pay the full penalty.”
Psychological Paradigm: Child-Child.
Child (male): “See how irresistible I am.”
Child (female): “Now I've got you, you son of bitch.”
(1) female: seduction; male: counter-seduction.
(2) female: surrender; male: victory.
(3) female: confrontation; male: collapse.
(1) internal psychological - expression of hatred and projection of guilt.
(2) external psychological - avoidance of the emotional sexual intimacy.
(3) internal social - ‘Now I’ve Got You, You Son Of A Bitch’.
(4) external social - ‘Ain’t It Awful’, ‘Courtroom’, ‘Let’s You And Him Fight’.
(5) biological - sexual and belligerent exchanges.
(6) existential - I am blameless.

Friday, 18 August 2017

harem pants

Remembering past discussions with Rachel "Dolphindark" Bree about future fashion, cyberpunk, post-cyberpunk ("ww3 will be fought with sticks and stones" mad max / salute of the juggers aesthetic. At one time she connived her way into being the official 'project: tRust franchise visual artist / fashion designer' which gave her access to the company computer. Six months later she had invested heavily into roleplaying her character Velcro on SecondLife VR and not so much into the fashion design, although when we took her upon it she inarguably made a lot of sense (she usually does) and showed us some concepts which we would love to develop as a clothing range, if ever given the budget to go into commercial production. Her sketchbook is worth its weight in imagination although she paid it split lip service with her evil blog. Meanwhile here is the inspiration splashpage for project: tRust on pinterest.  

Today I finally had enough of uncomfortable chav tracksuit bottoms which I lounge around the house in and looked up some harem/yoga pants for men on the internet. They cost a fucking fortune for what they are. So: back to basics with an old sheet from a charity shop and determination, discovering that with 4 knots and the right folds you can make your own pirate style harem pants for two pounds fifty (two euro's / two dollars) approx. They are a perfect fit, feel great, sucks that they are cotton and polyester mix rather than 100% cotton though. No cutting and sewing necessary at all.

The whole point of fashion in tRust is that it expands on the use of cytex as a fabric for clothes. The stuff is plastic-pvc-rubber-tyre type material in a variety of densities and flexi-abilities. It is dissolvable which is why most tRust fashion is basically a skin-suit applied by spraying it onto your body, and removed by stepping through a decontamist (decontamination mist) portal, which is not too different from an x-ray machine at an air-port and doubles as a chemical-shower for killing off any unwanted bacteria you might happen to have picked up on your travels. Assuming fresh sprayon clothing is applied the same way in the next chamber.

Basically the purpose of having such a way of living is that it makes life much easier for everyone, the time and energy invested into the ergometric nightmare of putting on and taking off layers of clothes is liberated. So it stands to reason that for our culture where cytex is as yet univented and/or ridiculously expensive, far too much to make clothes from yet, we have to do the next best thing. Custom made harem/yoga pants tied at the hip and ankle from an old bedsheet is perfect. Except for the cheap synthetic mix and the colour not actually being black. Hey it's non-black it means disposable in case I had to chop into it with shears. 

Ten minutes of figuring out how to fold it and a whole minute of tying knots. Next time will be quicker. Contemplating cutting off the corners where there is a lot of waste fabric, and sewing a strip of thread down the outside of each leg - or an insert from another fabric. Or doing that without cutting off the excess for a flash of colur beneath raggedy looking flappy bits. These are highly comfortable. 

It is not everybodies aesthetic. As I was working a couple of neighbours happened to walk past and look in through the window through the holes one of the neighbours cats scragged in the netting when it got stuck in here and freaked out last week.*  They said "oh my god"  and "seen it all now" simply because I was wrapping a sheet around my waist with safety pins in my mouth. To these people my creative activities in pursuit of comfort is like an alien planet. They assume me to be gay and therefore to be laughed about and avoided. I repeat, I feel comfortable as fuck and this costume cost me less than half a litre of grog they are damaging their internal organs with in the local pub tonight.

Would I wear these outside the house? Not around here. The version 3 of these designs though, cut to specific shape and sewed properly on a machine, looking professional, black of course, dylon dyed from the remnants of thin canvas combat trousers I have in a bag ready to do something with, with pockets and buckles in all the right places, are going to be selling for a small fortune on etsy before fall. tRust official clothing line logo doubles the price you see, its all in that hand-made, designer logo and the fact I know what I'm doing - even without Dolphindarks help. She's still living it up off-grid somewhere in Europe. Neighbours can laugh as much as they like, it's not stopping me from cashing in on style which they can't afford. 

*Cat scragged netting soon to be converted into frilly knickers for bobafets illegitimate daughter.

Meanwhile here's some copyright promo art from the new 2017 re-release of Games Workshop Necromunda used without consent non-profit for educational purposes within international fair use policy. And something else anonymously cool I found on google.

Incidentally found this during a google search: cytex on soundscape (nothing to do with Ordo Octopia) This is music how we like music. 

Tuesday, 15 August 2017

The Naked Truth

The Naked Truth

I switched off because I was fed up of fighting a defensive position, against playing roles in other peoples drama, in which they needed me to be a bad guy to justify their bid for social support amongst people who did not question their motives & integrity, people who accepted their games as the reality. When someone dominates a narrative, the people worth relating with are those who question that narrative as being definitive. Today when people lie to my face because they have sided with another liar, and I can see through all this, I tell them, you are lying to me because you are a zombie. And what upsets them is not that they perceive my statement as an insult, but because they perceive it as the truth. I have ability to hold mirrors up to people face. Why would I choose to hide behind their face when I can wear my naked skull?

So I dedicated a lot of time to the contemplation of “Keeping the Peace” as justification of lies. I can not respect a liar. I barely accept those who cannot tell the difference between truth and lies and assume ‘what they have been told’ is the truth. It is a mental health dis-order called Cognitive Dissonance / Disbelief Syndrome. So many people suffer this and can end it easily by aligning themselves with Truth. The foundation of spirituality is “to see truth you have to be truth”.

Why would you respect a person who knowingly lies to you? It is abuse because it is attempt to mentally impair them, to deviate their cognitive function away from truth. They certainly do not respect you enough to create an honest world between you. Why would you knowingly create a dishonest world whenever you are in a situation to? Is it because you perceive that the liar has more power than you, so you enable and endorse that? You can depower them so easily by exposing, confronting and reprimanding them.

The conclusion I have come to in the situation above is that for those people who lie and create zombies, for personal empowerment for which we historically use the word ‘liche’ (“leech” and “leige”), or under the justification that they lie to keep the peace, both require that the person who has been lied about, the victim of the slander, one who has less influence amongst the zombie horde because they avoid and dump hate onto the target, should exist with less peace. So it is untrue that lies keep the peace. It creates stress and pins it onto the victim.

The victim has three choices. These are the three worlds within the victims power to manifest.

One: (inaction) accept the situation and let them think whatever they want, because they are zombies they are incapable of clarity of thought anyway. This is to endorse the slander and be a party to it.  Remain identified as “victim”.

Two: (action) protest and attempt to win zombies over to the truth by telling the other side of the story which they have never asked to hear because they are zombies. Discredit the liars. Refute being ‘victim’ yet perpetuate war instead of bringing peace. Justified by; truth and understanding within a community which has been perverted by lies.

Three: (ascension) rise above the whole situation, detach, and known that aligning with truth means to rise above the dirt in which the zombies wallow, to attain a spiritual purity which liches cannot even see. Let them rot in their own deceptions and illusions.

In terms of transactional analysis it look like this:

adult - adult = truth - truth
parent - child = liar - zombie
child - child = zombie - zombie

“Grown-ups can handle the truth”
and the famous retort: “Why do you lie to your children?” (Your duty is to support them to survive in adult life.)

“All this will be for nothing. We will have been for nothing. Defined by their histories, distorted to fit into their narrative. Until all that is left of us are the monsters in the stories they tell their children.”
Captain Flint, Black Sails

Thursday, 3 August 2017


"If and when you feel rage, if you would only give yourself some time, some spiritual food, if you will do that for yourself, if you will abridge your rage with that spiritual food, eventually everything will calm down and will be fine. You will be able to move ahead and that time of rage will be over. The idea of forgiveness. Womens rage often comes from their family of origin situation, sometimes it comes from adult trauma too, that is less common. For instance a woman who has had a mate who has been tremendously abusive. That is less common because usually people who have not abused as children will not stay for a minute with a mate who abuses them. So the adult trauma is less common. Regardless of where the trauma ocurs, something has to happen, to recognise, it, to bless it, to contain it and to leave it."  Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Women Who Run With The Wolves

Blame Shifting.
Often the ones perusading you to leave the perceived abuser (the target), are abusers who do not want to let you go (the cult, who extrapolate your energy). Often the target is a liberator who the peer group resent.

She doesn't know what to do. So she will do whatever the next person she speaks with who she trusts tells her to do. That is how she is. Manipulable. So, I told her to ignore everyone else and trust her own intuition. Everybody else in her life is giving her various versions of ignore me and avoid me. Because I am a threat to their control over her. They are all caught in energy games. As an outsider-observer I can see this clearly for what it is. Because she is coming from a culture of control-games, that is normal to her, she will entangle me in them too if she has a chance to. I prefer to keep my life clean. I trust my own intuition. It helps more than other peoples advice ever does.

See also:

Modern Writing 201X

Modern Writing 201X

We are the millenial teens. At time of writing the internet is over thirty years old although it is closer to half that since 'the great transition' occurred. Before, older generation cursed daily about computers taking over everything while younger generation wanted what they saw daily on cyberpunk shows. After, your mobile has wifi and everyone above the average age of ten has cellphones. Facebook and youtube are yesterdays television and the cybermen are asking now it has happened why tv brainwash devices taking over society was ever a concern anyway.

As a writer I observe how it affects our use of language. We ignore those around us so we do not develop spoken verbal skills and we text continuously. Emoticons and txt tlk was an annoying fad until its practicality was accepted and assimilated.

Scientists monitoring dolphin speech have announced that their language has changed because of noise pollution. They used to sing complicated communications however the increasingly distracting distortions of mechanical human interventions into their ocean has within a generation caused dolphins to adopt abrupt direct commands rather than eloquent prose of their parents and ancestors. How this relates to attention span in dolphins is more difficult to measure. The relationship between attention span and prose in human society is, and that is precisely what this blog is about.

I grew up reading the master of psychological science fiction Philip K Dick whose work stands out even within its genre, many argue that he is a cornerstone foundation of it. Despite this during his own lifetime he had the FBI on his back during paranoid yet 'drug-subculture the hidden mainstream' McCarthy years whose government and spy networks remensicent of KGB informants regarded PKDs work to be subvertive to the American Way Of Life. Dicks writing broke every rule in the academic text manuals for professional writers. He is a bestseller, they are not. The divergance between what people actually want and resonate with, compared with what the state tell us is what we should prefer, is not small.

For ten years I wrote by hand into notepads until my hands were, and still are, calloused from holding pens. In 2008 I got my first computer. My writing speed is like my IQ in the top one percentile which immediately marks me as an outsider whose mind is different and whose ways are strange. This does not itself make me a better writer, indeed when the common average is closer to the lowest common denominator than it is to how I routinely associate datum, it actively works against me. Thus I do not socialize, thus I do not converse, thus I spend a lot of time on facebook and blogging instead of working on my novels or drinking in the pub. For ten years I have been doing this.

Positive feedback regarding my style is unanimously that it is direct ("Tell it as it is") and "streams of consciousness writing". People used to the fiddly method of typing into a portable pocket sized machine with buttons sized for children are in agreement that messages should be kept short. I habitually compose multi-paragraph messages while keeping my bored text companion waiting and then the onslaught of excess wordage puts them off. If a sentence has more than ten words it is too long. We want it now and we want it concise. We want it in language we know what it means. I used to read thesaurus and dictionaries as a hobby yet most people can't spell dictionary and don't know what a thesaurus is, "Is it a type of dinosaur?" "Yes, apparently so."

It is the fault of evolution, progressive technological evolution, and not literature teachers, that practicality wins over complexity every time. This decade Agatha Christies novels have been re-written to simplify the stories because the next generation find them too complicated in their original form. We should be alarmed about this.

The word count of this blog is already extending beyond the comfort zone of most blog readers. The readers patience is lacking the faculty to assimilate that everything written so far is a preface to contextualise the main bulk of the manuscript. Lucky for you the rest of it is written in psychemotional feelies and not words at all. Enjoy.

As a reader I can only cope with writing which flows the way my mind flows. If writing flows differently, contrary to my natural rhythm, I cannot assimilate it. Instead of seeing the pictures of the described scene in my minds eye, I see bricks and concrete, a wall, impenetrable, words which do not make sense when put next to each other in that order. It is not my failing as an intelligent person that I cannot break through beyond it.

I experiment with this, my nature as an inquisitive book elf wanting to learn what everything is and does and how it all fits together, and my experiments so far have showed me psychedelic levels of reasoning. When I first read a popular kids series about a boy in wizard school I got three pages in and quit because it gave me a headache. I recall reading only block structure, paragraph word count, shapes of sentences depicted numerically, I was reading the matrix, numbers stacked. There was no story. I observed her magic was use of prime numbers in sequence throughout the text. Next time I read this ten years later to my son before bedtime and i saw none of that gridwork. We were excited to journey together through magical events and descriptions cleverly connived to a holistic and believable living world which developed as the story progressed, the characters very much affecting their environment. Even the easy cliches are alive.

Mindset. Analytical mode vs suspension of disbelief. Acceptance of luxuriating in absorbing descriptive detail (it truly does not matter what colour socks the wizard wears, so why bother describing it?) vs the gridwork which holds it all together in such a way that the story 'is right', in this case not only as a story but as a cultural icon, a social imprint which spans several generations, a true classic. That gridwork is a powerful weave regardless what colour socks the wizard was wearing. Mindset is about one mode vs the other. Mindset is also about accepting the character because his socks are the same colour as my socks, vs not accepting the character because "I dont like socks daddy, they make my feet squeezed and they can't breathe". My kids feet need to breathe. This outweighs what literary experts tell us about the perfectionism of a piece. She was rejected by over a dozen literary experts before someone took a risk and now the author is a multmillionaire and has entertained literally millions of people of all ages all over the world. Here is to the kids who don't listen because their feet cant breathe.




I write from the perception of a counsellor concerned with the impact social engineering employed to divide-and-control which creates an imbalance in society, resulting in the destruction of community, to provide leverage for further exploitation of individuals. If you are an individual this is directly relevant to you.

“Gray Rock” is a technique promoted by fifth-wave feminists * following third-wave principles.

third wave is anti-male, female supremacy strategies.

fourth wave feminism is a rejection of fem-dom and a focus on female related issues.

fifth wave is use of technological communication to manipulate society on a 1-1 and small group basis. This is precisely how cults work. It offers the manipulator a chance to interfere and retreat with no responsibility. It is an ideal situation for Narcissists to enjoy their methods for empowerment-by-control-and-destruction.

Popular within the contemporary communications technology community is the dynamic between Narcissist and Empath. A cultural terminology has emerged expressing our life situations in these terms and it is a method of indoctrination for the purpose of agenda based manipulation. This does not mean there are not cases where it is relevant and useful. It has also unveiled the scope by which manipulation is occurring throughout society to reprogram people to become less empathic and more narcissistic in their behaviour toward each other. Most especially this is aimed at encouraging females to resent males, playing on the foundation of gender based division.

Personally I believe that genders are complimentary, and phrases such as “battle of the sexes” encourage sexism and division. Communities thrive best where there is harmony, not division. The complimentary gender is 50% of the people on this planet. That is unlikely to change simply because of a personal prejudice and encouragement from hardline extremists using com-tech to brainwash a generation.

#GenderlessEquality is not the same thing at all as trans-gender.

Stonewalling And Community

Narcissistic Method

Stonewalling somebody without explaining to them why they are being stonewalled is a method used by narcissists to protect themselves against those who they perceive as narcissists. The result is the target (the one being stonewalled) does not know why the stonewaller is doing it, and assumes them either to be acting irrationally or to be manipulated into acting on misinformation as an attempt to socially isolate the target as a part of a victimisation campaign (Hate Crime by proxy).

Whatever affront the target did to the person doing the stonewalling, is going to be repeated endlessly until somebody points it out to them that a specific aspect of their behaviour was wrong. NB it is not the person, it is the behaviour - these are two distinct and different entities as is taught in childcare. All of us have a social duty and a duty to self to continually improve our behaviour with relation to other people. It helps vastly more when we are aware what behaviour is perceived as wrong, than it does when the target does not know at all.

A person who has been stonewalled with no concept of why, is going to be confused, offended and will not be able to work on improving themselves or recognizing where they might need to improve - if at all.

Anybody encouraging stonewalling with no explanation is actively divide-and-control, is attempting to control the one doing the stonewalling. An intelligent person (A) would question why person B is encouraging them to avoid person C and to put both person A and C into this position.

If you Stonewall somebody for no apparent reason - you are the sociopath.


Empathic Method

Stonewalling somebody after explaining why they are being stonewalled is a method used by empaths concerned with improving the social conditions we all experience. It establishes a dynamic by which healing can develop and progress can be made within the community. The target can work on the problem because the target knows what the problem is. It also exposes where stonewalling is a reaction to misperception or as result of manipulation of the stonewaller by a third party.

If the target (the person being stonewalled) asks “Why am I being stonewalled” this immediately indicates that the target does not understand and cares enough to want to fix the situation.

StoneWall As Abuse Tactic

Stonewalling is an abusive technique. If you need time out from your relationship, you state that you need time out. If the partner ignores that then stonewalling may become necessary. Stonewalling is the abrupt and final end of a relationship.

To stonewall somebody for a perceived sleight without explaining the problem or for no serious reason at all is the methodology of a narcissist who has decided to drop one of their sources of energy (“supply”). There is only one reason a narcissist would do this; self protection, to avoid exposure. Discredition of the threat is a standard reaction. "I had to stonewall him/her poor me!" solicits sympathy by way of securing new supply. 

A full exploration of how humans use each other as sources of energy can be found in The Games People Play by Dr Eric Berne. Make it the next book you read. It is easy to understand the principles and strategies which develop for purpose of energy supply. It is as relevant today as ever, although the use of modern communications technologies has given us a different arena and the emergence of different strategies (see fifth-wave feminism).

My Experience of StoneWall

I have both stonewalled people and been stonewalled by them. The Block function on facebook is stonewalling. It is useful to avoid any unwanted attention from abusers. People who I have been stonewalled by, who later explained their justification for doing so fall into three categories:

- genuinely had a good reason (fortunately I have had very few of these if any)
- was/is playing control games which I have challenged/exposed, so has stonewalled me as attempt to cover it up (including labelling me as an abuser to justify their own abusive actions)
- was manipulated by a third party who sought to disable their support network of which I was included by persuading them I was a threat.

When you weigh up these three reasons, these are the questions you need to ask when stonewalling a person. Why am I stonewalling this person? And; Is the right thing to do for myself, the target and society at large, to explain to the person why they are being stonewalled?


A genuine healer heals the whole, holistically, rather than isolating components. You only cut out a cancer if it is definitely identified as a cancer and not a support. Most people are in real life situations which involve elements of both - we are beyond Disney Princess Syndrome which is a meme used for leverage. This is symptomatic of the society we live in as much as it is symptomatic of the cPTSD so many of us have as a result of trauma from the society we live in.

The Positivist Agenda is to create no more trauma and to heal that we have suffered, for the benefit of individual and community. Society is your enemy, Community is your friend. Community is holistic and non-exclusive. When it becomes so, it is no longer community, it is a sub-culture of Society. This is the only rational Humanistic approach we can take toward healing ourselves and others without harbouring fear and hatred toward specific individuals. We all know that fear and hatred are toxic.

Q. Who gains from fear and hatred?
A. Those who exploit others for personal gain.

See also:


Recognizing Abuse In Authority (& Why)

Abuser wants to be an Authority enabling energy domination, ergo assumes a Parent-Child attitude and does not respect that the person he is talking with is an Adult requiring Adult-Adult discourse.

Talking to an adult as if they are a child is demeaning, even insulting unless the Adult remains Adult enough to rise above it, to establish their status as Adult rather than Child by responding accordingly, which largely relies on experience that makes the Adult an Adult in the first place.

Here we identify two levels of Adult - one which is a more mature Adult than the other. Both however are Adults, even where the Adult is inexperienced to justify to the Authority that he is not a Child.

The fail is the error of assessment that the Adult is a Child, made by the Authority. It must be recognised that the Authority by making this mistake is not suitable for the role of being an Authority.*

This can be remedied only in three ways:

- the Authority shifts from Parent-Child to Adult-Adult. This is the proper way for an Adult Authority to function.

- the Authority remains in Parent mode creating tension between the two parties because the Adult refuses to become a Child - this shows that the Authority is being more Childish than the Adult. The Adult can opt to step down into Child mode either so both parties can engage Child-Child which is unlikely given that the Authority will then immediately revert to being Parent-Child. This is a domination tactic which is unnecessary for Adult-Adult communication and explains why the Authority is unfit for role as such. We call this Manipulation Of Position Of Authority (where conscious) and Unfit For Role (where unconscious). If the Authority is unconscious of this, it reveals they are not fit for position because they are actively a Child playing Parent wearing Authority role far too big for them. If the Authority is aware of this, they are an Abuser.

- The two parties cease to have any communication. The Authority may repeat this approach with the next client while the Adult finds a different Authority who is capable of Adult-Adult to communicate with.

* Authorities are not fit for role if they make such mistakes. It is unfortunate that we live in a society where most of the time this goes unchecked. The result is chaos and the widespread enablement and acceptance of abuse by authority figures unfit for role. Adults question the Authorities being fit for purpose, Childs cannot. It is itself a mark of Adult status. Remember always: Authorities are Functionaries of a System. The System is there to serve the People. Not the other way around. Freedom factors on this.


Perry’s agenda is to become a literary agent for money. The arena he is in enables his position of authority over his clients (a variety of writers hopeful to become published authors). The foundation of his job has two aspects, both of which are: to make decisions for other people to progress. First he reads and criticises their work, then he decides if it is good enough to be published by the publishing house he works for. His position is that of authority and he has some power, as much power as his clients respect him with, as much power as his superiors respect him with. So long as he selects clients who bring the company money they will be happy and because there are a lot of people buying books, he does not have to worry much about which part of society he is alienating and encouraging because people will buy books form the company anyway. So nobody is looking too heavily over his shoulder. Most of his job is focussed on finding clients and because there are many writers seeking to be published, this is easy too. He can be very selective and reject as many writers as he likes because he is in a position to do so. In his discourse with potential authors there is a limited amount of to-and-from discourse regarding their books and the companies expectancies of quality. This situation enables him to play energy strategies within the simple dynamic outlined by Dr Eric Berne. The very basic grid structure applies and we can identify it astutely to the situation.

A result of Perry’s decision to pass only specific writers to his company for publication means he is the sole decision maker on what merits quality. It is an important job. Perry has decided to fall back on textbook academic teachings of what constitutes a good book. The summary of this is that all writers must conform to the proper patterns with no deviation, no risk-taking, no experimentation or individual expression. Effectively Perry requires writers who conform to ’painting by numbers’. As a result all of the writers who Perry passes are interchangeable, anyone of them could have written any of the manuscripts he passes without the reader ever truly knowing any difference between them. It caters toward a specific mindset, that of the academically programmed to conform to the academic program.

Perry spends his life wondering why rival publishing houses who have an entirely different approach are producing best-seller after best-seller of avant-garde, risky manuscripts that do not conform to the rules. Perry’s company sell bog-standard, middle-of-the-road easy-reading to a specific audience.

Perry’s methods have resulted in many writers avoiding him entirely and boycotting his publishing house. Perry seeks only submissive writers who redraft their manuscripts to conform to the blueprint Perry is imposing on them. Anybody who thinks differently from that model does not buy books from his company - which is why the rival companies are producing best-selling authors and his is not, despite it being respected as a long-running cornerstone of the publishing industry. 

This is the critical juncture:

Perry engages his clients as a Parent-Child authoritarian figure with intention of making writers conform to the textbook format.

Other companies engage their clients as Adult-Adult with intention of making the book as good as possible on its own merits, regardless of proper academic formats.

The Best Sellers do not conform to the academic textbook format because the books which really stand out, are those which really stand out. It is so obvious and simple that Perry is behind his own back a laughing stock of the industry despite his simultaneously being respected for his standing in it.

When new authors deal with Perry for the first time they have to make the decision which camp they fall into and whether Perry’s publishing house is the right one for them. The tried and tested formats which create format authors for a format audience do have a higher success chance than the multitude of risk-takers of whom only a tiny percent ‘make it’ to become best-sellers.

Thankfully there is a wide range of publishing houses which sit at various proximities within the third category, which is a balance between the extremes.

See also:

Energy Games

The Games People Play by Dr Eric Berne

ISBN: 0-345-41003-3
Published by Grove Press

Transactional Analysis of Social Psychology

Dr Eric Berne teaches a very basic system for;

1 recognising: how people interact.
2 what happens when we do, in terms of ‘energy’ shifting from person to person.
3 establishing a perception from which we can observe that energy does shift between people, and that this phenomena forms a foundation of how people create and manipulate situations to enable them to shift energy in their own favour.

Games People Play was published in 1964 and is no less relevant today. The social focus has shifted, the jargon we use in 2017 is different to that used in 1964, and yet the situation is the same. The basic model created by Dr Berne is the same and is still highly useful in assessing interpersonal situations. The model reveals underlaying structures and dynamics of social scenarios.

I use its guidance often. Combined with my own experiences and the knowledge base from another book called The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield which teaches about what happens when people are low- and high- on energy, the different worlds we manifest, this forms the basis of my world view.

My specialist focus is on exposing abuse and establishing methods to deal with it holistically. This has made me both friends and enemies. There are two camps - those who work positively to create energy for the betterment of all (Service to Others) are those who fight for Humanitarian ideals, and those who exploit individuals for service to dysfunction (Service to Self) are those who abuse and permit abuse.  

"If you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem."

The rules of the boardgame Diplomacy are very similar to the basic interpersonal model by Dr Berne. They both operate a black/white step-by-step structural outline in minimalist terms to observe  the flow and exploitation of energy between people and groups of people, and how various strategies develop to manipulate this for personal gain and/or communal gain. The conclusion of Diplomacy is that alliances and stability are more important, desirable, successful than are power, control and domination. This is compatible with the conclusion of Games People Play which is that successful people do not play (energy control) games.

See also:


3.8.17 - (388) - CHH

741 Hz ❯ Spiritual Detox ❯ Remove Toxins & Negative Thoughts ❯ Mandala Meditation Music

Astrology for the Soul August 2, 2017

"In the early stages of life,
I take all I need to grow,
Then transform it within to show where I've been,
And give it back to the whole."

Friday, 28 July 2017

Abwehrmechanismus - Fem Porn

REPOSTEd from Facebook, not my original text, author accredited below:

Female Sex Predators: A Crime Epidemic

In psychoanalysis, defense mechanisms (Abwehrmechanismus in German) are a group of mental processes whose function is to protect the individual from awareness of negative feelings, especially anxiety. The term was coined by Sigmund Freud, the father of psychoanalysis, following his observations of the hysteria that many of his first female patients suffered. He argued that hysteria was merely a defense mechanism that served them to cope with emotional pain that they could not bear, and explained how the use of immature defenses deprives the individual of psychic energy and thus interferes with the way of life and causes suffering (it must be added not only to one self but others too). Modern psychology especially the Schema Therapy developed by Young expands even more on this phenomenon while explaining the harmful effect such a cognitive dissonance causes by creating a harmful, pervasive, extensive and devastating suffering. Freud saw psychoanalysis as a means primarily aimed at upgrading basic defense mechanisms to more developed defense mechanisms that enable a person to reduce his suffering and function better in society while modern psychology understands that all of those mechanisms are creating suffering to everyone aiming at replacing those maladaptive schemas with healthy coping skills

Later on, it was his daughter Anna (1937) that followed in the footsteps of her father and has developed these ideas and elaborated on them, adding five of her own. Furthermore, many psychoanalysts have also added further types of such defense mechanisms. One of them is what we call "Reaction formation". This is where a person goes beyond denial and behaves in the opposite way to which he or she thinks or feels. By using the reaction formation the id is satisfied while keeping the ego in ignorance of the true motives. Conscious feelings are the opposite of the unconscious. So according to Freud, Love - hate, Shame - disgust and moralizing are reaction formations against sexuality. It seems as though this model offers not only a plausible explanation for the distorted feminist mentality but especially gives an insight into the feminist perverted sexuality in terms of the rape culture hysteria.

In a survey trying aiming at finding the answer on why so many women are looking for particularly violent porn it found that 52% of women have a fantasy about forced sex and 30% fantasized about rape. While the explanation for most women is obvious and has nothing to do with some kind of pathology (remember: it is a phantasy and symbolism for submission and letting go of control, not really and truly a wish or desire to be raped) while this very phenomenon based of feminist pathology evokes the classical "Reaction Formation". The other analogy is that of a pious religious person who has extensive thoughts of sin and will not only become more devout but more and more radical, compulsive, addictive and extreme.

New data reveals that women in their droves are searching for porn with tags like "extreme brutal gangbang", "forced" and "rape".

A quarter of straight porn searches by women are for videos featuring violence against their own sex. Five percent of searches by women are for content portraying nonconsensual sex. While men still search for significantly more porn than women, search rates for these more extreme types of sexual content are at least twice as common among women than men. 

Those statistics make for fairly surprising reading, but are the facts Dr Seth Stephens-Davidowitz, a former Google data scientist, discovered when he was given complete access to PornHub's search and views data for his upcoming book. "If there is a genre of porn in which violence is perpetrated against a woman, my analysis of the data shows that it almost always appeals disproportionately to women," he writes. 

But why are so many women so keen to see videos tagged with, say, "painful anal crying", "public disgrace" or "extreme brutal gangbang"? Or content marked as "forced" or "rape"? The feminist porn movement – one focusing on equality and empowerment – might be thriving, but the data shows, proportionally, women are also consuming much more of the most extreme misogynistic sexual material available online.
 It isn't uncommon for women to have fantasies about coercive sex, as the findings of a study into women's rape fantasies from 2012 indicate. The team of researchers from the University of North Texas and University of Notre Dame played 355 young women an erotic rape fantasy – as opposed to a literal portrayal of sexual assault – over headphones to investigate how aroused they became. 

The tape's material, derived from the kind of storylines often found in romance novels, tells the tale of a male protagonist who is strongly attracted to the female character. He expresses a desire for sex with her, but she's clearly unresponsive. He attempts to convince her, without success, and she continues to refuse his advances. The male character then overpowers and rapes her. She resists throughout, and at no time gives consent. However, as the man is attractive to her and provides erotic stimulation, she does experience gratification from the forced sex. 

Researchers found that 52 percent of the women had fantasies about forced sex with a man, 32 percent about being raped and 28 percent about forced oral sex with a man. Overall, 62 percent of the women reported having had at least one fantasy around a forced sex act. The researchers then investigated if the women's fantasies were indicative of "sexual blame avoidance", a hypothesis that women socialised by our slut-shaming culture chose forced sex themes to negate feelings of shame and guilt. 

The opposite was found to be true. Women who reported being less repressed about sex were more likely to have rape fantasies, more open to fantasy in general, more likely to have consensual fantasies and finally, they were found more likely to have high self-esteem.

So if women who fantasise about rape or coercive sex are actually some of the most liberated out there, is it the same story for women who watch violent porn? It's not that clear-cut. There has been very little research into the latter, but a study from 2011 found the women most likely to watch porn – especially the most extreme kinds – were those who had suffered sexual assaults and psychological violence at the hands of their families.

Dr Raj Persaud, a British consultant psychiatrist, broadcaster and author, said that unlike the women in the rape fantasy study, we don't know the situation of the women searching for violent porn.
"I think it's probably the case that women who've been abused have ended up with a disturbed view of sex," he told me. "People who've suffered former psychological trauma or abuse are often in abusive relationships – they repeat the cycle. We don't know whether the people doing those searches are in an abusive relationship, and are doing the searches because they are being coerced into doing so. 

"There are a lot of unknowns, and without speaking to the women who are searching for this porn, we can't know whether they have been abused. What the search data shows is there's a secret side to people's lives, which psychologists can have difficulty accessing."

"We don't know if they're looking out of interest, or doing it because that's what their boyfriends or hook-ups want, or if they're actually masturbating to it."  

Dr Gail Dines, professor of sociology and women's studies at Wheelock College, Boston, and a prominent anti-porn campaigner, told me: "Until we know how long [the women are] staying on the porn sites, and have actual empirical evidence about what they are doing while on the sites, we don't know if they're looking out of interest, or doing it because that's what their boyfriends or hook-ups want, or if they're actually masturbating to it." 

However, says Dr Dines, one thing's for sure: "If these women [who watch violent porn] have been abused, [they] are actually digging the trauma further into the firing and wiring of [their] neurones, driving it further into their limbic systems, and porn delivers a massive hit to the limbic system because you're watching someone going through the same trauma you did."

So while women who fantasise about violent or coercive sex are apparently often sexually-liberated and have high self-esteem, it's as yet unknown if the same can be said about women who search for violent porn. The data shows us women are searching for this stuff, but until someone commissions a big old study around the topic, we'll never truly know why. 

Everybody Lies: Big Data, New Data, and What the Internet Can Tell Us About Who We Really Are is available to buy.

More on VICE:

Saturday, 22 July 2017

Further Research On FemDom 

Jon is the Senior Editor of Intellectual Takeout. He previously was the Senior Editor of The History Channel Magazine, Managing Editor at, and a reporter for the Panama City News Herald. He served as a White House intern in the speech writing department of George W. Bush. He received degrees from the University of South Dakota (M.A.) and the University of Wisconsin-Platteville (B.A.), where he studied history and literature.

Read more at: ©
ADDITIONAL 1.8.2017:

71% of children killed by one parent are killed by their mother and 60% are boys.

on Miltimore is senior editor of Intellectual Takeout.

Read more at: ©

Friday, 19 May 2017

jazz noir

private email to a friend:

smokey late night jazz, film noir style

tracklist for an imaginary album

1. the conformity
2. he's one of them
3. gutter club
4. the broad dame sings
5. cemetery trenchcoats
6. city under wraps
7. nicotine break
8. projection room
9. glass tower
10. bullets in the rain

piano and brass. cymbals and snares.
deco and sleaze. speakeasy and freeze!
with roots deep into the shadow of a criminal mind.
sound is to describe a mood.
the title theme describes the scene.
his voice is clear spoken and firm;
her voice is diesel husk,
clawed fingertips honey inside your spine.
the best line in the movie was snuffed like a secret candle. 
in an abandoned warehouse downtown.

The Viscounts Harlem Nocturne (inspired by Duke Ellington)

Duke Ellington's Harlem Nocturne
the megabox set of Jazz Noir
personally this seems too bluesy to be proper noir
(still on disc 1, it might change yet)
the style of the albums art is about right

not entirely sure if we are working on this yet
its more of an idea for an idea, than an actual idea
i thought about your music and atmosphere,
emotion and progress: mostly of focus.
again aspiration seizes me with its storm virus sights 
and you know the real sounds come from experimentation
scheming to set up a cymbal and layer up samples of its raspy chime
deadbeat dreams because real work is too much like reality
something we all need to take a break from sometimes
so the plan as it forms is to take half of the tracks each and write the backbone, then
swap and add flesh to it, building in layers
try to stay away from borrowing more samples than we could clear because ultimately the investment of time into productivity should on some level be commercial, commerciable, commercialable, saleable. If not for us then for the kids.

I'm so lazy. this new place is good though - I need to force myself to set the music gear up o I can work with it. Had a setback when i updated the macs OS and the firewire alesis mixer is not compatible with the new OS. Mac's are bastards i have to factory restore it to go backward with the OS and to do that I would lose all my software. Easier to sell the mixer and go back to using the dj mixer through a usb converter. Its funny right, for all the gloss of modern tools, when it comes down to the reality of knowing what I am doing because i know what actually works, it's the low-fi simple crude basics that outlast high-tech 'keeping up with the trend of development'.
Keep it all loose and easy so the tracks can be modded into movie soundtracks, well the whole thing should sound like a movie soundtrack more than a series of vaguely related but very different tracks. Keep it all simple. That's why I started the list:

piano and brass, cymbals and snares.

thinking about music in ways to conform to the structures of the traditional jazz-noir tracks is quite different from the loop based stuff we are used to. It progresses. Sections after sections after sections where the two instruments talk with each other. That's a common theme here, the lead instrument and the answer instrument. They do that and then they play together at the same time. Then the rhythm changes, often introducing an entirely new instrument before the main ones (piano and brass) return. Each section is quite short. A lot of it is long and drawn out, a lot of it is short stabby bursts of sound creating ... they aren't exactly melodies. They are stressful and discordant sections of peaceless fucking nuisance noise. A lot of it falls up its own ass and disappears into self indulgent nonsense. The whole genre does, that's why it only really works when it is totally underplayed. I much prefer regular melodies which you can relate to. Think its time to use some modern synths in here and see what we can come up with that is both trad jazz noir and yet very much 21C. And nothing at all like Blade Runner.

film noir
fɪlm ˈnwɑː,French film nwaʀ/
noun: film noir
  1. a style or genre of cinematographic film marked by a mood of pessimism, fatalism, and menace. The term was originally applied (by a group of French critics) to American thriller or detective films made in the period 1944–54 and to the work of directors such as Orson Welles, Fritz Lang, and Billy Wilder.
    • a film marked by a mood of pessimism, fatalism, and menace.
      plural noun: films noirs

"low angled shots and wide angled lenses"
I was thinking this could mean stereo-panned dubsteppy bass and wide open ampitheatre halls (deep reverb).
trying to find an impressive picture to illustrate this email with. it sure as hell ain't easy.
my shadowed eyes are abstract chessboards squinting through blinds as twitchy as my trigger finger.
Man, we need some cello in here too. It's not going to work without cello. The big ones as deep as fat larry's laughter booming through the subway as he treads into the mists of time.

Next up: Burial (cant recall if it's his 1st or 2nd album). Soulless breakbeat. Urban sounds. It sounds more like concrete. I don't mean "music concrete" because that's 90% shit even if it was an important development in 'what music is' brought about by early-mid 20th century sound technology. Burial is modern noir in its own way. Minimalist and dark. That desperate, fatalistic futility. It's jazz with the jazz taken out, what is left after the storm clears.
What becomes of survivors after the movie is over?

piano and brass, cymbals and snares.
©2017 snakeappletree

Sunday, 2 April 2017

Radiant Stars

I love myself. I have not always. Culture taught me to hate myself and for a long time I did. People criticize me for loving myself.

“He loves himself.”

They say as if it is a bad thing, something to be ashamed of, something to deride and prejudice against a person for. And the majority agree, snide faces and comments, to belittle, to wear away any feelings of self worth. It has nothing to do with gender at all. Both gender’s do this.

Yet after time to heal and re-assess my situation I love myself more now as a result than I did before. I spend money on healthy food which costs more than what most people around me eat but I do not pay a tv license to be programmed by negativity, I do not run a car to poison the air we all share and cause cancer. So I can afford to eat a healthier diet, besides which food costs less when you stop eating sugar and carbs anyway. I still cannot afford to eat vegan recipes. I still comfort eat too much chocolate. I still criticize my own diet although I am no longer anorexic as I was a decade ago. I have not had to eat from skips for thirteen years.

I love myself and it becomes so much easier to identify those around me who do not love themselves, who as a result do not love other people either. Someone once told me there are two sorts of people in the world, two types of hearts: radiant stars and black holes. The black holes suck in all the energy, all the light, and they hate. The radiant stars are their food but also the healers, the ones capable of creativity and genuine happiness. He also taught me the secret of maintaining a radiant star. He did this by quoting Aliester Crowley who without going too much into it, he was very into:

“Love is the Law, the Law is for All. Love is the Law, Love under Will.”

I asked him about this last part, because I found it confusing: if Love is the ultimate foundation and source of creativity and happiness, why is it under Will, which can be used for nasty as often as it can be used for positive? His reply was beautiful: “You said it yourself: it is the foundation. How far do you think you can get without that ground under your feet?”

It was a long time before I learned sufficient legalese to understand that the word under-stand’’ means not ‘to comprehend’, rather it means ‘to stand under the authority of’. Crowley was not teaching that Will is superior to Love. He was teaching that Love is superior to Will but that Will is also a factor. In case you are confused, the word Will is used to describe a faculty of Mind which we could also describe as Intent. I made it my intent to love myself and not let anyone else grind me down.The ones who were used to doing so hated me more for it, but as people say, “Haters gonna hate.” After a lot of contemplation I believe Will is the factor involved in choosing to accept to Love oneself and others, accepting Love for what it is. Or not.

People do still grind me down, usually by envy and manipulation. I adamantly refuse to accept that Loving self is a bad thing. I love: it is not to selfishly take from the external universe. It is a glow, a radiance, a give to the external universe. I love people, even the sociopaths who want to cruelly control me and enjoy my suffering. Those black holes are probably the ones who need loving the most, they are incapable of self love and that is what motivates them to drag everyone else down to their empty and destructive level. Some of them mimic it but when you know what Love is, you can see through that.

There is no point in wasting eternity attempting to fill a black hole. All that does is make it bigger. A black hole ceases to be a black hole and starts to become a radiant star only when it decides to. The physics involved are entirely internal. How the energy is arranged within it so that it can be able to radiate instead of absorb. Humans are lucky, we do have the faculty to choose how we do this, and to accept that changing experiences are involved. Both in that they are necessary to do so, and that they will occur as a result.

©2017 Ordo Octopia

Saturday, 18 March 2017


Somehow it seems beautifully fitting that this is the 69th blog I have made this year. 
Perhaps I need to slow my pace down somewhat.

Happy Birthday Duchamp's Fountain. 

Marcel Duchamp, influenced by contemplating African spirit-worshipping tools, which were stolen and exhibited in European galleries as art objects, changed the 20th Century approach to how we perceive our world. 

It opened up a lot of philosophy regarding psychology and perceptions. 

It goes hand in hand with Magritte's The Treachery Of Images (ceci n'est pas une pipe), 1948.

20th Century artists no longer required to record their environment and period of history because the invention of the Camera, could now explore a diaspora of other ideas through many art movements. How technology changed Art and culture. Duchamp's urinal is the original symbol for all that.

To the Africans, their fetish artifacts were used to communicate with the Spirit World, it is Shamanism, Spiritism. Westerners still have a long way to go to assimilate this as a real living tradition and necessary part of Life, to make sense of our purpose.


Friday, 17 March 2017


She is brave. When I was working with animal skulls and bones I was surrounded by their spirits trying to communicate and all the emotions of animals frustrated at their situation. 

It is difficult enough communicating with human souls so much of the time, it came as an onslaught until I recognized how sensitive I am and what was happening to me - that I had to simplify my approach to everything means to respect it one heck of a lot more, in a different way - there is an obvious way once you start involving in this path, it involves a shift of thinking. 

I love working with bone it is such a beautiful material, for carving and simply holding, however it is very powerful, because it resonates not only with the species but the individual. Studying "how can this be possible?" combining with reiki and psychometry as well as the third eye chakra, it has taught me huge about energy fields and resonance, how the bodies water and electromangetic vibrations can be used to attune us. 

Developing psychic awareness - by the Carlos Casteneda / Yaqui shamanism knowledge base - all of this together as an holistic cohesive body of knowledge. It is on the one hand completely natural and can be explained scientifically once one understands what the human organism and energy fields are capable of. 

On the other hand it is mystic mumbo jumbo to people who have no spiritual connection at all. People of the Mind experience the world differently from Intuitives who do not have a mind-set as the center of their perceptions. 

The irony is that when you understand it completely, it is a science. Simply that it involves subtle energies which a lot of people, especially because of pollution affecting their systems, are too insensitive to connect with. As I mentioned, it can be overwhelming when you become utterly yin sufficient to study it to deeper levels.