Tuesday, 19 July 2016

The Village

 Around here 'that Innsmouth look" is not fish, it is feline. The locals pronounce it feleen rather than the more normal pronunciation feeline which one will know if one has travelled or been programmed by the technological mind control devices which have flooded society in the guise of entertainment devices. Around here the locals are of such a mind to have detached from that and regard it as foreign and invasive, much as they do to anyone from the far side of the street, the next village or the neighbouring counties. Around here the self centered nature of the cat is regarded as normality, acceptable, the locals have problems with more open-minded attitudes and more experienced strangers bringing their strange and unsettling ideas and ways into the region. The village is culturally remote and a haven for those seeking to hide their pasts by embracing the local mindset and settling in as locals. As they say, "folks from around here ain't from around here" and for the most part this is true. The inheritance of local culture masks prison time, ex offenders, children of ex offenders and behind closed doors secrets that the single parent mums are so because dad is doing time, either because he was caught supporting her the illegal way or because she put him there to get him out of her way so that she could live uncompromised by having a man around who being father of her kids is at once less disposable than random strangers and more disposable than men who are so desperate for sex they will turn a blind eye to her nature and simply provide money. A lot of Ex offenders come through here as a halfway house and are exactly the manly sort of men the local women are attracted to. It takes several years of integration to recognize this about the place, beyond the facade of public image. The cunning wiles of the local women ensures all aspects of local culture conform to this unwritten code of conduct - the tradition is business as always, must be maintained. Those who cross the line are reprimanded with cruelty thus to teach.
The town could be any remote backwater community situated beyond the end of the main travel routes. All other subcultural communities are hidden away from the maintenance of local ways so as to be invisible and unspoken in public.
Here, anti-male third wave feminism has emasculated male culture although the Sport is permitted as a male interest. Most males hate the sport, enough are into it sufficiently to cause the majority to pretend to like it, they have to because the social pressure is profound. Men who are not into the sport are written off as breeders, regarded as non supportive of the potential mothers. It goes against the natural way but is described as being the natural way and most people are discouraged from questioning the authority of that indoctrination. Social memes, mind control projects, are rife here. The sport is boring and so I write about it objectively rather than in glorification for political pursuit of money, acceptability and female interest. Women hate the sport but regard men who share that distaste as second class, thus encourage it especially to male children. It helps to focus them away from becoming troublemakers, it helps make them predictable. And it reveals which males are the other caste - self thinkers, free thinkers and thus either to be rejected and persecuted, or to be bred from, depending on their aggression and criminality. The intellectual and effeminate, compassionate, empathic males are trusted to menial jobs in the female dominated council. Brutish males are bred from and encouraged to break the laws so they can be incarcerated when they are finally deemed to require the experience of jail time, to get them out of the way so the mothers can raise their kids without them interfering. You play their game or you are removed from society. The game is called "we change the goalposts to suit our whims."
Attempts to change this infrastructure result in persecution and being cast out of all factions of society. Strangely, the intellectual capacity and life experience of the cast out is much higher than the regular normalized acceptable folks who have made the necessary compromises to adjust to the local culture.

Dharma in Eden

This is 420th post on this blog.

It is copypaste from private text conversations during a time of revelation.

Last night (saturday) i lucid dreamed visiting a Tibetan spiritual master a healer, the name 'San Po' in my mind, he poked my left ribs hard and it plugged a hole where my love has been leaking out. I started to heal immediately, to see straight. How things are connected. Traditional instruments, drums and chimes, music as healing. His ally showed me to drink red top milk, a lot of it, calcium. Symbolism but open to different interpretations. As i woke the name San Po is in my mind. There were lots of souls visiting him for healing, his place is amazing, full of symbols of his education to get him to the plane of being an astral healer. We are lucky there are people as high as him in this world doing that work.

"I have to forgive my sons mother and a big part of me despises and rejects her because if there is a place where she and i see eye to eye, we both avoid it. We come right up close to that place and then turn away from it."

Sending you this is the bravest thing i have done in a long long time. I was texting with my friend and this all came out.

Politics is a distraction from what is important, people, our loved ones, humanitarianism, looking after each other. I have to forgive my sons mother and a big part of me despises and rejects her because if there is a place where she and i see eye to eye, we both avoid it. We come right up close to that place and then turn away from it. My parents were the same, i watched them do it my whole life through and never discussed it, by the time i could talk i had given up trying to explain it to them and the schizm turned eventually to hate and it damaged me, it took them over and they consciously damaged me from it. Had i not failed, had i been able to explain it to them as a child, or been wiling to try as an adult, our family would have been closer, i would have been stronger. I blame myself for the hate that happened because i did not love them enough to heal them or at least try to by telling them what had happened. Every time they nearly settled on a level with each other, they were like magnets who attracted toward that balance and then at the last moment, repelled that balance. It was how they protected their fragile self identities instead of giving themselves over to each other completely which would have allowed love to flow through them and unite them completely. Letting go of the self so that nature can flow through us and we can be in bliss. And with parents that's often a sexual thing or at least a hug. But we damage ourselves and each other instead, so that it becomes harder and harder to let go and connect. Whoever gives over first, is consumed not by love but by the other ones self control, and the one persons ego eats both partners. In normal language we insult each others egos and if we accept one to be dominant, it bends both partners away from being straight enough to function socially. We call it being in love. So we let the hate come in instead and make a pretence which is so obvious that it does not satisfy and we all end up resenting the fakeness we trap ourselves into. The solution is simple - kiss and make up. Not for the sake of the kids only but for the sake of ourselves and each other and love and a better reality. Instead we turn each other into haters and the hate becomes the foundation of our childs world, the stability he knows and will recreate all his own life. Because we are afraid of letting go and becoming natural and rejoicing in the high our child needs to be stronger than we are, so we stay below that high. We need to work constantly to help each other stay there. It is our job, it is what family means. It is what successful parents can do. And so we face our failing that despite it all, our ego grandeur, our social face, we have failed because we do not do the simple thing of looking into that place and accepting it as a strength. Despite whatever other lovers we may take, it is our love and we are too broken to re-establish it as the world we live in. When we do, our child grows in that light.

The problem is that the programming from the mind, it takes over so instead of our heart-minds connecting as one, our programmed minds connect and that is where all the disagreement and confusion in the world comes from. I can analyse this and see it for what it is and explain it. I don't know if I am a pure enough creature to achieve it and that is because nobody can do so by themself. It requires the willingness of two people to get there. I don't expect we can but at least we can have a frame of reference about human emotional and mental psychology to use, by being aware of it.

Both need to be selfless and face it head on. Allow yourselves to be overcome by the same positive passionate attraction you felt when you first met and hold that level. A lot of the pain which is the operational base, is because you both need to go back into that space together and re-affirm it. It requires both being selfless together. Not easy especially when our nature has that destructive element. Both deserve to make each other happy, to gift each other that positive flow and to function as one.

You can turn each each other into the bliss which you prevent each other from being. Normally people judge each other for deviating from it but we forget we are all facing the same self doubt and insecurity. We deviate because we try to avoid creating a negativity reverberation and in doing so, we create a different sort, a confusion sort of negativity. Trying to hide our own monstrous nature we instead create it. Forgiveness and acceptance are the two words describing how to get back there, not as words but as actions in living  realtime, together.

I believe that a bad translation of the garden of eden story put gender roles onto psychology concepts. A lot of mess and confusion came from that. It is about partners forgetting to energize each other with love, wholly, involving thoughtlessly hugging and not rejecting that from each other in a fit of unworthyness but embracing it. So they called the deviation by a female name, eve, and in doing so they blamed women for something which both genders do. It is because she represents the yin yielding flowing aspect of the self and usually people are stubborn yang which we call the mind and ego being set against the idea of returning to eden, the made heaven which a couples love creates. So the couples perpetually create a difficulty neither can overcome easily.

Thanks for seeing the point i am trying to explain. I wish i could explain it to all separated parents because it would help the kids to have a more stable family life and it would help the adults to be more peaceful inside and with each other. It is okay to love your ex, passionately, emotionally, physically, kindly, as a friend, we are meant to. Society teaches us to be disfunctional, that we are wrong if we act on feelings toward our ex, wrong if we support them. society encourages us to go against human nature, to go against healing ourselves and our partner.

I believe this is what the word husband and wife is designed to mean originally, partners who heal each other by stabilizing each other in a place of bliss. Then we can make better, less tortured lives, decisions, art, worlds, it is what being successful truly is.

All it takes is holding someone you love in a hug for more than 20 seconds so their brain releases endorphines. We have kids by this angel and we cant even do that much for ourselves and for them. No wonder our species is doomed. I try to hug my ex at an appropriate moment and she shouts rape and throws me half way across the room, the rejection hurt becomes the world our son grows up in. Because stubborn human nature is more powerful than the individuals ability to evolve. And this is about evolution into higher dimensions, through simple human interaction. We get off on punishing ourselves and each other and the kids instead of healing. This is why humans are facing extinction, it is the main reason. It can all be cured by letting our shields down so our light can shine through and simply holding each other, holding each other high like we do for the kids when they need comfort. Why is it so difficult for us to overcome our fear enough to do it?

Thursday, 14 July 2016


5 things I hate about the internet.

1 Trolls as Admin. Admin who Troll. These are not doing their job well at all. In real life it is called negligence of duty and is a sackable offense. It is bullying. On the internet it generally goes unchecked and the site owners take the troll/admin's word for it that their victim is the problem, who gets instantly banned from the forum. This happens on most of the internet forums.

2 pop-up screens I have to close to see the website I want to see.
On protocol I never click 'yes' to them, ever. 
I usually also close the web-page for hosting pop-ups.

3 websites where I have to click 'next' to go to the next page of an article.
I close those windows on principle.
4 spam from companies who I signed up with and who want my attention and money so they waste their lives sending me one or more emails a day. My inbox is full of this. I will never buy from you, ever, and I advertise that you are a spam company so you lose more sales than you would make by acting more professionally, sleek and keeping it simple. 1 email to my inbox is all I ever need because when I want to read it, i use 'search' to find it - the internet is an indexed database. If you are sending me a third email, I will report you.

5 hook-up sites that charge money. The only people who use these sites will ask you to go to another site which requires your credit card details. You will never find a partner there, only a waste of your time. The hook-up sites with real people who do actually meet, they do not charge money because the people who use them are actual people with the same intention as you. Whether they are for-real people or head-fuck time-wasters is another matter. People genuine about getting laid and into long-term relationships typically live near you and drink at the local bar, or else they are not worth the hassle. There are exceptions but remember that 95% of long-distance relationships end in break-up usually before you meet irl.

Thank you for reading my top 5 internet hates. Now go and do something about it if you are in a position to do something about it.

Friday, 8 July 2016



Today with people i love, learning spirit. The chaqmal and the chacual, ja guar. It taught me what this region close to where we live called the gower is in the ancient tongue, guar. When yaqui maya and xiao and aegyptian and w'el'sh and ja mai qa'n and the even elder peoples, old fella's spirit teachings, are all the same mother tongue aligned ... makes sense of the confusing designs i have been compelled to be making lately, geo-mathic arrhythmic stonecarve sigils of flows, language of subconscious from the underworld. Phonemes of power. All the namings follow the same root blocks which explain vastly.

Has been an unusual day.

Walking through the field we were triangulated by red and green, symbols on many levels aligning to make sense of ancient prophecy, "red an green should never be seen" spoke a magester to me many years ago and here last week my kid asserting freedom ran off and hid, and here today the son of a mother who found him showed us two toy cars, micro machines in red and green, while over there a guy who helped search went past on a red scooter while holding green skateboard, and over there two old men with three white dogs, one wearing a red coat the other wearing a green bag. These tones, more specific than coincidence, were all the very same tone of red and the very same tone of green.

This is shamanism in practise recognising how energies align and it put me outside mind and into the other attention, shifted my assemblage point. Twenty-one years of studying don carlos and many other disciplines, it is making sense now. Reasons why i am living here at this time and thus the confusion about it ends because i know what the places mean now, why locations are named specific energies and how they align. The gregorian calender of the early freemasons measures it well enough. I will look up next what the tzolkiin date is. Cholkan, these words have many tonal expressions specific to purpose.

Our activities are events controlled by the flowing and opening of these gates and energies, our lives enact the flowering. This is what shamen study, how syncronicities connectivity creates our life journeys. I make no claim of being a nagual, simply observer and recorder, Thoths servant, a zero chief who speak a language very few of us are trained in but those who are, who study to this level, will decipher.

A childs first birthday today. Think about that and power numbers of 7.7.1+6=7 and how significant that is. Crowleys book of the same title dressed in the winged solar gate. So today, eleven kids, four chaga and myself a pentacle of adults, making a relief of new healing space between us and within us. Because of doing right thing. These archonic structural guides are a grid of a pure vortex and we captured its power, even without trying.

This is not a cult or religion, it is a way of recognizing. These words mean specific things describing soul energy and they appear all over the world hidden in many cultures. Some souls are trained to know it, and it truly exists, while the ignorant simply fail to accept that which they are blind to. I am speaking mayan the language of the dreaming, we all were today, references.

Today the universe gifted me a blue dog lead, a power tool entrusted wisely. I have no fear to teach how real this is. As initiation i can only point to Victor Sanchez book, the Teachings of Don Carlos.

To many, this whole text is gobbldigook. To others it describes where we are at in great detail.

Guar means amongst other things, the reptilian cortex. It means the lizard. Iguana. Sex and when untamed is from where we get the words worry and war. The red and the green. This is a system which transcends time. I did not invent it. I achieved sufficient objective clarity in my studies of no-mind to remember all of this data and witness it. When earthed, we get the word guard, protection like a wall or fortress, caer in welsh like to care by protecting. Lots of kids here today, the most important thing to be protecting. Lots of kids from lots of sexuality but - i have to emphasize that observing and making these connections can only come from the sage sacrificing all of that, study instead of play. And being benevolent, teach freely a summation of decades of lonely assimilation. It is what it takes to achieve that perception as described here.

We spoke of 666 being the triple spire and 777 being the feather growth up from it, axles on axles, cogs, stepped stages to measure the flowing. We spoke of many things. Words that came through us because our ego minds did not intercede, and our hearts mending, and laughter, and all of this the crowning of child and his tribal group. Happy birthday EsEsEl.


I don't know how this can be, howevewr according to this site calculator, 7.714 and 77.15 and 7.7.16 are all Star/11 days. That itself is amazing. Even if it is a glitch 'there is no such thing as a glitch, merely the ripple of some other factor we are not fully aware of'. It is significant.



First i had to learn babylon inside out, blood sweat tears, hopes programs fears, streets walked by city people from high echelon to lo-fi dry in the post bust rust and decay of glass shard broken emotion and mental digital how it works gangrene sludgy brain fluid of lives in disarray, the wealthy ignore the poor and hate disguised as acceptance routines which for law. I saw. 

From underage drag queen wined by the mayor to inside secret libraries, drug dens, galleries and cells colder than ice sold by cops, vice as necessity for city to function while working and middle classes protected living in delusions. From hooking to cooking for the rich an poor in restaurants and soup houses, counselling deadbeats whose hearts still somehow pure but sharp shark eyes dead as half my crew. Shallow graves dug by authorities and masks worn by those faceless professionals we are made to rely on. Work for money or beg and busk through system or street corner where the turn you in for crimes they did, everyones fave scapegoat. 

And has made i wise. Wise with city eyes, the owl looks through, commerce and corruption which i avoided on my spiritual dub warrior medicine path of budo shamanic discipline. I survived, most didnt. 

Ye mon, i know babylon well n better n do you, shortcuts backstreets safe routes and true. Now i have amassed experience so much my songs speak deep, no aspiration here the coin of the exploited, this dub is what it is, beyond naivety. Now ready to write babylon tunes, jara jara

Writ cos having at last caught upon the far star of babylon 5 sci fi tv series, the pentacle closes, i knows it braa. Somehow symbolic relations between concepts from here and from over the horus-zen collate to create new forms of cohesion. Ready for new world now with fresh meaning as the lens twist into new resolution, a focus, a twenty-two year parallel assimilation on this day 7.7.1+6=7 = enochian key, turning that corner, the gate opens.

Its not madness when you know the frames of reference. Its only madness to the ignorant. Keep listening, keep walking that bassline pace of human rhythm. Simmering along here is a new album brewing cos i unplugged my tentacle from the visual crystal, so the energy flows through spine into the chime of sound bar mystic ~ ♡ ☆