Monday, 22 July 2013

Rosemary Wash

I wash my dredlocks twice a week, once with water and once with knotty boy organic dredlock soap, one bar of which lasts roughly six months if thats all you do with it.

Some people don't wash their dreds at all, apparently I over-wash them. As a consequence my dredlocks are dry as brittle hay, so I researched on the internet into methods to rejuvenate them.  

Can't use wax because it binds dirt into the core of the dred for ever. Can't use chemicals because it deconditions the hair even worse. Henna is great for refreshing damaged hair but again, dirt in the core. 

I don't have any coconut butter until that arrives for me to experiment with, so for today it comes down to herbal washes to add oil back into the dry hair. 

I have been growing rosemary in my herb garden and have plenty of it, so this blog is really about the seemingly obvious process of cutting it, cleansing it, shredding it, simmering it in water for five minutes, potting the juice until it cools (as a fresh organic substance it goes mouldy if you don't freeze it to store it), and in this case soaking it into my drylocks and allowing it to naturally dry. 

The juice tastes bitter and oily; oilyness that swirls around in the pot as it cools. This is the oil I need to get into my hair!
After watching and learning some of his daddy's herbalism  my 3 year old helped me immensely by pouring the luke-warm juice onto my dreds, which hopefully will help him overcome his dislike of having his own hair washed.

Tuesday, 9 July 2013

Chaos Magick

In fantasy role-playing games there is a contrast between ‘good’ Lawful magic and ‘evil’ Chaos magic. In real life the development of magickal systems is somewhat less decisive.

A brief history of Chaos Magick

In the latter half of the twentieth century, Peter Carroll co-founder of the Illuminaries of Thanateros (sex and death) published Psychonaut and Libre Null outlining chaos magick theory and establishing a new system for magickal results that dispenses with dogma of previous systems such as those of the Hermetic Tradition dating back thousands of years through classical Greek to ancient Aegyptian. Carrolls development followed Austin O Spares development of a useful functional sigilism system after his having had some dealing with Aliester Crowley’s reinvention of the Order of the Golden Dawn.

Peter Carroll’s youtube videos;

This stuff works. Use of perception and especially altered perception to change external reality by focused power of Belief. Rituals are order-of-the-day, utilizing whatever symbology and concepts are available at the time. This is neither black, nor white, because it is beyond such polarization. It is about Change.

Venus Satanus youtube videos;

The philosophy of occult study

“Chaos magick affords the magician the kind of freedom to be able to use anything that is desired in magick, regardless of its origin or structure. Gnosis in chaos magick is a form of Intent that creates the path in the mind necessary for the Will to enact what the magician wants to create. The use of the Will for a formula for success.” Venus Satanus

By Year Zero (2013ad) the language used by Carroll is dated. For example, his use of the word ‘desire’ for ‘intent’ has a theological bias at contrast with integration of the Buddhist related school, wherein desire actively blocks us from true perception. While this was not Carrolls concern (he discusses the two paradigms being mutually exclusive and defends it well), it is important as Chaos Magick theory and philosophy develops. One cannot be a successful psychonaut while ignoring the importance and validity of the uses and training of mind which the Zen has to offer, especially since no-mind is the objective of both, as it is for the Mayan sorcerers pursuit of objective observation.

The problem all practitioners face is the overwhelming dogma projected by existing group mind, the collective consciousness. Methods for liberating the mind from attachment to such dogma becomes the major focus of the practitioner. This relates to what Don Matus taught Don Carlos about ‘the sorcerers of old’ who would perform any number of extreme atrocities attempting to achieve results.

“Where Attention goes, energy flows.”

This blog follows on from previous blog entitled M:tA

 and for comparison;

Check Out the Void

“The pain that we feel is the Love we with-hold.” Vassaius

Human society out there is fucked. It is so full of mind programmes to screw you up, to screw up positive relationships. Most of it is about insecurity and control, domination and doubt. Most of it is about Slavery. It affects us all. 

Our ancestors were proud human beings. They were dealing with real issues. They were pragmatic realists. 

We here have decided to remember our roots. We are proud human beings. We are strong enough to do what it takes to get things right, within our group of people.

We cannot change government. But we can change ourselves and our immediate community. This is done with Positivity, with Love, and with Acceptance. 

In any tribal community there are wisdom keepers, there are natural leaders. I do not want to be a leader. I am doing what I must do to heal the social sickness. This statement is a part of that. 

Our primary goal is for everyone to be happy. Our primary goal is for the kids to be safe, so they can teach us a purer insight than we can access from our compromised integrities. 

Humans are a tribal species, it is how we are designed to thrive. We look up to indigenous tribal communities for the wisdoms that we have forgotten, so we can implement them into western societies. 

There is a simple human rule in any tribal group; if you are not working for the good of the tribe, then you are not part of the tribe. Other than this, the generally accepted Common Law of our Ancestors is as follows; Keep the Peace, do not harm, steal or use trickery. This should be all we need to live successfully as a prosperous community. Any problems where they are not resolved from inside the group harmony, are from outside of it. There is an old maxim; together we win, divided we fall. This is the uprising of Human Culture amidst a toxic consumerist debt-slavery system. 

Our contexts and our concepts must be changed, as part of the transition. The goal is sustainable permaculture and community support. Any thought or feeling that becomes an action should be one of positive energy, we are stripping our world of negativity by sidelining the sociopaths. This is a survival necessity.

Friday, 5 July 2013

Cognitive Dissonance As Standard

"Only the Insane have Strength enough to prosper;
Only those who prosper truly judge what is sane."
Warhammer 40,000

Cognitive Dissonance is a mental health disorder where the sufferer prefers to believe the dogma of la-la-land, rather than to accept reality, even when reality presents valid proof that the situation is the way it is.

When a person has been recognized as suffering from cognitive dissonance, we must re-evaluate them as a mental health sufferer, no matter what position they hold in society and no matter who or what they themselves believe themselves to be.

Cognitive Dissonance undermines all sense of self as authority, despite job title, income, etc. It is officially recognized as a real mental health disorder. It is rampant in many western cultures, to the extent that ‘mental plague’ is a valid phrase in establishing what is going on in our communities, and in shifting from one paradigm (culturally repressed) to another (accepting a wider reality).

When a doctor misdiagnosed my father as having indigestion, which later turned out to be bowel cancer, a normal person would consider the doctor be at fault. The doctor defends this by replying that he simply did what his computer told him, diagnosing the ailment according to the database.

A sane person would not return to use the same doctor.

Following this, my father returned to the same doctor and told him that I hear voices. “My son hears voices” were the exact words he used. Then my father forced me into going to see the doctor. I objected on the basis that the doctor misdiagnosed him and therefore I do not trust this doctor’s professional opinion.

The doctor said to me; “I have been informed that you hear voices.”
Very laterally I replied; “how can I respond to that other than in the affirmative?” By which I meant that my ears are working fine, or I would not have heard his voice as he told me his statement.

“That is a classic textbook symptom of schizophrenia. I am now referring you to the local mental health team.”
What the? I was too shocked to respond at the time.

The mental health team visited me one by one to get their head around me.
First, the Witch (wearing square shoes, gloves and purple eyes, as described in Roald Dahl’s book the Witches. Possibly she wore purple contact lenses.) listened to me relate about how I had been stressed recently because I had been gang stalked, by a crew who were so inept that I have photographs of them. I went to the police about it and the desk sergeant jovially told me it was probably the undercover police themselves who were following me. No help there then.

The Witch told me that she believed I was lying. Although like everyone she is free to believe anything she wants, I was immediately suspicious of her intent. I offered to show her the photographs and she told me it was not necessary and that she would write in her report that I am a prolific liar.

I recognized both that she was abusive in her position and that she suffers from cognitive dissonance and should therefore be regarded as mentally ill and functionally unstable, so much as it had affected her work related objectivity. I reported this exact statement by telephone to the secretary of the mental health team, who told me I would not have to see the woman again, they would send a different person to analyze me. I am always a little upset at use of the word analyze because it is so similar to an adjective describing bum sex, and so far I most definitely felt that the system was fucking me up the arse.

A week later the Pusher arrived to ask me why I had given up smoking cannabis. I explained that I no longer needed it, the addiction was affecting my life too much, and the irony was that it was not until after I had quit that I began being followed by inept gang stalkers who the police were claiming worked for them. I assume this situation to be the vendetta of my ex-dealer for leaving his syndicate, or simply sods law.

The Pusher asked if I had ever heard of the psychedelic rainbow, with basic soft drugs at one end and far out cosmic shit at the other end. He explained to me that the new skunkweed was as powerful as LSD and thought it was a shame that I had picked this time to quit smoking weed.

I wondered if he was taking the piss, or testing me, or was genuinely into this stuff. I told him that I had left the drug scene and was confused by his attempts to woo me back into it given that he is a state worker in his official capacity and that the state are at war on drugs; despite Holland shutting down prisons because their 20 years of decriminalized cannabis means there is much less crime in their country, because as everyone agrees, cannabis has helped strengthen the community awareness. Compared with Britain where reliance on criminal behaviour increases the police industry which strengthens the government. At that time the Home Secretary Teresa May had not yet issued a public statement, quote; “We are policed by consent” to which most sane members of the community chant in chorus; “I do not consent to be governed!”

I told him that CBD is a component of cannabis that is shown in independent trials to cure mental health disorders such as the alleged schizophrenia misdiagnosis, wheras THC is the component known to cause altered and expanded states of perception utilized by shamen for many thousands of years the world over. Given that I had previously been ingesting CBD, shown  to cure schizophrenia, why did the mental health computer tell them that cannabis actually causes schizophrenia. He could not answer this.

The Pusher then offered me three pharmaceutical drugs. First, Seroxat; I explained how I happen to know a guy who successfully sued the NHS for prescribing him that shit, when tests have shown it to make people suicidal and depressed, and that is why it is now illegal. Obviously his department has a stockpile of it to get rid of.

He offered me a different chemical the name of which I forgot, the side effect of which would cause me to grow boobs and lactate. Momentarily I wondered if he was trying to get me into some kinky bisexual fetish. I declined this drug on the basis that I do not really wish to be taking drugs that have a more severe effect on me than the ones which I had previously managed to quit, and also that sounds like a pretty fucked up drug.

So he offered me a third drug, the side effects of which are audio hallucinations.

I asked him what good it would do, giving someone who is misdiagnosed because he hears voices as audio hallucinations, a chemical that would cause him to hear audio hallucinations. Respectfully I declined on the basis that I really would like to be able to tell which are the real imaginary voices from which are the fake imaginary voices, and asked that he write in his report that my answer should be construed as a sign of someone of sane mind. I do not know if he did, I have not been able to get a copy of any of these reports because the NHS claim they have lost my case file.

I spoke with the secretary of the mental health team and requested that I do not have to deal with the Pusher again on the basis that he is cognitive dissonant if he thinks the stuff he was telling me was in any way sane and rational. A week later they sent me Dr Bye, who was lovely except that she and my father were old friends, sharing jokes and causing me to wonder what was going on behind the scenes between these two that I was not privy to. She treated me respectfully with an empathic sincerity that I appreciated, listening without judging, not making stupid comments and simply being really good at her job, so it seemed. Professional and by the book. She got me in contact with a social worker who was brilliant, who managed to get me the benefits I was actually entitled to which doubled my income, and helped me take ATOS to court after they threw me off of benefits because they didn’t believe the diagnosis either.

I asked all three of these mental health professionals exactly which textbook is it that describes the symptoms of hearing voices to be schizophrenia, rather than ‘not deaf’. Nobody has ever answered me that to date.

At around this time, the BBC in conjunction with the NHS made a short documentary about schizophrenia, which I did not see but I did read their booklet to accompany the documentary, and it states that one of the symptoms of schizophrenia is the denial of being schizophrenic. This means that anybody who claims they are not schizophrenic is exhibiting symptoms of being schizophrenic. This is lateral thinking, which in laymans terms means ‘stating the obvious’ or ‘telling it as it is’. Any notion of a hidden or layered subtext and of referential discourse in relation to the schizophrenia sufferer is highly valid and relevant merely by its use, in terms of having two different types of cognitive awareness occurring simultaneously. Lacking in any proper definition of what schizophrenia is (as all of the state experts seem to do), the phrase ‘having two different types of cognitive awareness occurring simultaneously’ itself takes on an interesting and extremely contrary meaning.

At this point I wave the Cognitive Dissonance flag again. After another session attended by both my social worker and Dr Bye, during which I spoke about the reality of extra-dimensional beings, magick and how nobody had yet asked me about childhood abuse that might be the root cause of any mental health problems I could be perceived to be suffering, I was released from assessment observation with the words "not in need of psychiatric counseling." It is now officially documented that I do not need psychiatric counseling. I am one of very few people in this category; everyone else is suspect.

It is my belief that all of this has occurred so that my paranoid and manipulative father can attempt to discredit me because I was a risk to his divorce proceedings after witnessing him snogging his colleague in a pub doorway during the six months prior to all this. He also told me afterward that Dr Bye is now dead so there is no point in me trying to contact her again.

It is my Common Law Right, believing and asserting myself to be of sane mind, that I am a conscientious and empathic Adult; and as the only true representative of myself, having never granted right of attorney to any other, to make a PUBLIC NOTIFICATION on and for the record, that:

I do not suffer from schizophrenia as alleged; that any such claim having been made was an act of misdiagnosis and professional misconduct, with myself positioned as injured party.

Furthermore, I hereby assert myself and by my own words to be a sane and sensible, educated natural Human being. Given the above,  and in context of the prevailance of Cognitive Dissonance mental health disorder running unchecked in this society, I hereby assume the role of both Adult and Alpha Male, with accumulated life experience beyond and outside of the limited and limiting belief structure of the majority of individuals with whom I interact or am likely to interact with.

Additional Postscript. A friend sent me this link after reading the above blog; 

"Like computers, human brains may be vulnerable to hackers. Technology is already allowing scientists to read people's thoughts and even plant new ones in the brain."

These are the exact same sort of statements that I was making, which gave my father the idea to tell his doctor that I was 'hearing voices'. Whether my own brain has been hacked is apparently open to public question.

The following photographs from pre-2008. This is the crew who were gang-stalking me. I could hardly believe my eyes when I came out of the post office to see all of them there in a huddle! Lucky I had my camera phone with me.

Thursday, 4 July 2013

Slag vs Slut

 A Slut is somebody promiscuous. You are designed to be.

If you have grown up in a slaver culture, you will probably have a lot of issues about this which will affect your relationship with those who you claim to love, while using the word incorrectly because what you actually mean is ownership.

A genuine loving relationship accepts reality and equality. Control relationships are abusive relationships and Slavery is against the Law despite the mainstream ignoring that in their daily routines and preconceptions of righteousness. You do not have to choose this option.

It is not your place to judge how any other person lives provided they are doing so safely and respectfully. Sluts are typically liberterian and polyamorous, all of which is as nature intends. God said ‘we should be with the one we get along with best’ which does change regularly for most people whose lives are worth living.

A spiritualist once explained to me that most people are in a situation of not meeting ‘the one’ even if such a thing does exist, and on average you are probably at least two years away from meeting someone you will get along with well enough to settle down with for a while.

Meanwhile you will biologically need sex within the next few days. Given this situation, does it not seem probable that we are supposed to be experimental and promiscuous as a species? Sex is a biological necessity the same as shitting and eating. People who have regular sex are much healthier, mentally emotionally and physically, than those who abstain from pleasure. What is wrong with pleasure? You are designed for it.

A Slag is someone who bitches about other people, grasses them up to the police after setting them up for a crime they did not do, causes trouble, is out for themselves and highly manipulative bordering on psychosis. These people are abusers and losers, and are not tolerated in the positive and successful community.

Sluts can be ethical. Slags are unscrupulous. That is the real difference.

What went wrong with mainstream culture is repression ideology. Sex is power, therefore those who want to control you encourage us to feel bad about being empowered and having fun doing it. Religion is the main ‘to blame’, followed by segregation and division of tribal communities into isolated family units. Emphasis on jealousy instead of emphasis on empathic emotional support indicates a problem situation.

Love. Acceptance, forgiveness, and genuine stability make any couple strong enough to withstand the reality that you will find other people attractive, that you will likely receive offers of mutual pleasure from other people. Love is always giving.

In counseling sessions, two important questions emerged that are healthy to contemplate:

What is your problem with pleasure?
What is your problem with other people experiencing pleasure without you?

Monday, 1 July 2013

the deeper path

It should be mentioned first that Selene gave birth to a black queen and two toms, who opened their indigo blue eyes today. This blog follows on from river-of-instinct for the reason that my recent blog sets the stage for the events recalled here in this one. I was invited as band photographer for a gig by my friends,


who were headlining at the Parrot, Carmarthen for the Carmarthen festival of electronic music, the after-event for the sadly under-exciting annual town festival of music.

 I tried to do my John Peel thing but got caught up between the roles of photographer,  audio archivist and dancer. Sadly I didn't check to see if the recorder was working properly and I still don't know how much it recorded because my life is too hectic to catch up with itself. So the disc has gone in the big box of unlabelled recordings until further notice.


Mid-way through the set a very brave young hipster got upon stage and began singing along, tribal intonation chants. After an initial confusion and concern that the stage was being crashed, during which the band very professionally kept on playing without missing a beat, her impromputu act was a hit!

After the gig the band and I needed a place to stay and it turned out to be her place. By then I was exhausted and I fell asleep and missed the after-show 's after-show party, which was gatecrashed by some typical psycho's of the type Caermarthen town produces, chanting "pedophile pedophile rape rape" and doing dirty chemical drugs, getting attention by being as nasty as they can get away with and believing it to attract sex in their direction. Perhaps it does. It was the first party I have been to for nearly a decade and I was probably the oldest person there, watching people go through experiences I had already done by my twenties and experiences I don't ever want to go through. Reality check = sleep time!

On the altar of the living room table was a box which had the very same symbol I had seen before, from a drawing in the Fighting Fantasy book. It had come to my attention because Phoenix had been offered a life choice, of the sort to be found in the Temple of a Thousand Doors from the Never Ending Story; every room has two exit doors, each marked by a similar and related symbol, and you choose which one to go through.

The rapper Ozzy had offered to import Phoenix to Turkey to be his  Turkish bride (see Sun door), and instead of this path which according to Ian Livingstone's Temple of Terror is the Path of Doom, she chose to stay here instead (see Moon door). 

Unfortunately I did not got a photograph of the box with the Night symbol from the altar.

The table was a sheet of glass balanced upon a black stone lifesize bear cub, reminding me of a story from the Canadian indians of Wakim the bear cub who ran so fast up a mountain that he took off and flew up into the sky to become the little bear constellation.

The next day Phoenix arrived at my place with a book called Cat Spells. We're calling the black queen Midnight.