Saturday, 22 July 2017

Further Research On FemDom 

Jon is the Senior Editor of Intellectual Takeout. He previously was the Senior Editor of The History Channel Magazine, Managing Editor at, and a reporter for the Panama City News Herald. He served as a White House intern in the speech writing department of George W. Bush. He received degrees from the University of South Dakota (M.A.) and the University of Wisconsin-Platteville (B.A.), where he studied history and literature.

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on Miltimore is senior editor of Intellectual Takeout.

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Friday, 19 May 2017

jazz noir

private email to a friend:

smokey late night jazz, film noir style

tracklist for an imaginary album

1. the conformity
2. he's one of them
3. gutter club
4. the broad dame sings
5. cemetery trenchcoats
6. city under wraps
7. nicotine break
8. projection room
9. glass tower
10. bullets in the rain

piano and brass. cymbals and snares.
deco and sleaze. speakeasy and freeze!
with roots deep into the shadow of a criminal mind.
sound is to describe a mood.
the title theme describes the scene.
his voice is clear spoken and firm;
her voice is diesel husk,
clawed fingertips honey inside your spine.
the best line in the movie was snuffed like a secret candle. 
in an abandoned warehouse downtown.

The Viscounts Harlem Nocturne (inspired by Duke Ellington)

Duke Ellington's Harlem Nocturne
the megabox set of Jazz Noir
personally this seems too bluesy to be proper noir
(still on disc 1, it might change yet)
the style of the albums art is about right

not entirely sure if we are working on this yet
its more of an idea for an idea, than an actual idea
i thought about your music and atmosphere,
emotion and progress: mostly of focus.
again aspiration seizes me with its storm virus sights 
and you know the real sounds come from experimentation
scheming to set up a cymbal and layer up samples of its raspy chime
deadbeat dreams because real work is too much like reality
something we all need to take a break from sometimes
so the plan as it forms is to take half of the tracks each and write the backbone, then
swap and add flesh to it, building in layers
try to stay away from borrowing more samples than we could clear because ultimately the investment of time into productivity should on some level be commercial, commerciable, commercialable, saleable. If not for us then for the kids.

I'm so lazy. this new place is good though - I need to force myself to set the music gear up o I can work with it. Had a setback when i updated the macs OS and the firewire alesis mixer is not compatible with the new OS. Mac's are bastards i have to factory restore it to go backward with the OS and to do that I would lose all my software. Easier to sell the mixer and go back to using the dj mixer through a usb converter. Its funny right, for all the gloss of modern tools, when it comes down to the reality of knowing what I am doing because i know what actually works, it's the low-fi simple crude basics that outlast high-tech 'keeping up with the trend of development'.
Keep it all loose and easy so the tracks can be modded into movie soundtracks, well the whole thing should sound like a movie soundtrack more than a series of vaguely related but very different tracks. Keep it all simple. That's why I started the list:

piano and brass, cymbals and snares.

thinking about music in ways to conform to the structures of the traditional jazz-noir tracks is quite different from the loop based stuff we are used to. It progresses. Sections after sections after sections where the two instruments talk with each other. That's a common theme here, the lead instrument and the answer instrument. They do that and then they play together at the same time. Then the rhythm changes, often introducing an entirely new instrument before the main ones (piano and brass) return. Each section is quite short. A lot of it is long and drawn out, a lot of it is short stabby bursts of sound creating ... they aren't exactly melodies. They are stressful and discordant sections of peaceless fucking nuisance noise. A lot of it falls up its own ass and disappears into self indulgent nonsense. The whole genre does, that's why it only really works when it is totally underplayed. I much prefer regular melodies which you can relate to. Think its time to use some modern synths in here and see what we can come up with that is both trad jazz noir and yet very much 21C. And nothing at all like Blade Runner.

film noir
fɪlm ˈnwɑː,French film nwaʀ/
noun: film noir
  1. a style or genre of cinematographic film marked by a mood of pessimism, fatalism, and menace. The term was originally applied (by a group of French critics) to American thriller or detective films made in the period 1944–54 and to the work of directors such as Orson Welles, Fritz Lang, and Billy Wilder.
    • a film marked by a mood of pessimism, fatalism, and menace.
      plural noun: films noirs

"low angled shots and wide angled lenses"
I was thinking this could mean stereo-panned dubsteppy bass and wide open ampitheatre halls (deep reverb).
trying to find an impressive picture to illustrate this email with. it sure as hell ain't easy.
my shadowed eyes are abstract chessboards squinting through blinds as twitchy as my trigger finger.
Man, we need some cello in here too. It's not going to work without cello. The big ones as deep as fat larry's laughter booming through the subway as he treads into the mists of time.

Next up: Burial (cant recall if it's his 1st or 2nd album). Soulless breakbeat. Urban sounds. It sounds more like concrete. I don't mean "music concrete" because that's 90% shit even if it was an important development in 'what music is' brought about by early-mid 20th century sound technology. Burial is modern noir in its own way. Minimalist and dark. That desperate, fatalistic futility. It's jazz with the jazz taken out, what is left after the storm clears.
What becomes of survivors after the movie is over?

piano and brass, cymbals and snares.
©2017 snakeappletree

Sunday, 2 April 2017

Radiant Stars

I love myself. I have not always. Culture taught me to hate myself and for a long time I did. People criticize me for loving myself.

“He loves himself.”

They say as if it is a bad thing, something to be ashamed of, something to deride and prejudice against a person for. And the majority agree, snide faces and comments, to belittle, to wear away any feelings of self worth. It has nothing to do with gender at all. Both gender’s do this.

Yet after time to heal and re-assess my situation I love myself more now as a result than I did before. I spend money on healthy food which costs more than what most people around me eat but I do not pay a tv license to be programmed by negativity, I do not run a car to poison the air we all share and cause cancer. So I can afford to eat a healthier diet, besides which food costs less when you stop eating sugar and carbs anyway. I still cannot afford to eat vegan recipes. I still comfort eat too much chocolate. I still criticize my own diet although I am no longer anorexic as I was a decade ago. I have not had to eat from skips for thirteen years.

I love myself and it becomes so much easier to identify those around me who do not love themselves, who as a result do not love other people either. Someone once told me there are two sorts of people in the world, two types of hearts: radiant stars and black holes. The black holes suck in all the energy, all the light, and they hate. The radiant stars are their food but also the healers, the ones capable of creativity and genuine happiness. He also taught me the secret of maintaining a radiant star. He did this by quoting Aliester Crowley who without going too much into it, he was very into:

“Love is the Law, the Law is for All. Love is the Law, Love under Will.”

I asked him about this last part, because I found it confusing: if Love is the ultimate foundation and source of creativity and happiness, why is it under Will, which can be used for nasty as often as it can be used for positive? His reply was beautiful: “You said it yourself: it is the foundation. How far do you think you can get without that ground under your feet?”

It was a long time before I learned sufficient legalese to understand that the word under-stand’’ means not ‘to comprehend’, rather it means ‘to stand under the authority of’. Crowley was not teaching that Will is superior to Love. He was teaching that Love is superior to Will but that Will is also a factor. In case you are confused, the word Will is used to describe a faculty of Mind which we could also describe as Intent. I made it my intent to love myself and not let anyone else grind me down.The ones who were used to doing so hated me more for it, but as people say, “Haters gonna hate.” After a lot of contemplation I believe Will is the factor involved in choosing to accept to Love oneself and others, accepting Love for what it is. Or not.

People do still grind me down, usually by envy and manipulation. I adamantly refuse to accept that Loving self is a bad thing. I love: it is not to selfishly take from the external universe. It is a glow, a radiance, a give to the external universe. I love people, even the sociopaths who want to cruelly control me and enjoy my suffering. Those black holes are probably the ones who need loving the most, they are incapable of self love and that is what motivates them to drag everyone else down to their empty and destructive level. Some of them mimic it but when you know what Love is, you can see through that.

There is no point in wasting eternity attempting to fill a black hole. All that does is make it bigger. A black hole ceases to be a black hole and starts to become a radiant star only when it decides to. The physics involved are entirely internal. How the energy is arranged within it so that it can be able to radiate instead of absorb. Humans are lucky, we do have the faculty to choose how we do this, and to accept that changing experiences are involved. Both in that they are necessary to do so, and that they will occur as a result.

©2017 Ordo Octopia

Saturday, 18 March 2017


Somehow it seems beautifully fitting that this is the 69th blog I have made this year. 
Perhaps I need to slow my pace down somewhat.

Happy Birthday Duchamp's Fountain. 

Marcel Duchamp, influenced by contemplating African spirit-worshipping tools, which were stolen and exhibited in European galleries as art objects, changed the 20th Century approach to how we perceive our world. 

It opened up a lot of philosophy regarding psychology and perceptions. 

It goes hand in hand with Magritte's The Treachery Of Images (ceci n'est pas une pipe), 1948.

20th Century artists no longer required to record their environment and period of history because the invention of the Camera, could now explore a diaspora of other ideas through many art movements. How technology changed Art and culture. Duchamp's urinal is the original symbol for all that.

To the Africans, their fetish artifacts were used to communicate with the Spirit World, it is Shamanism, Spiritism. Westerners still have a long way to go to assimilate this as a real living tradition and necessary part of Life, to make sense of our purpose.


Friday, 17 March 2017


She is brave. When I was working with animal skulls and bones I was surrounded by their spirits trying to communicate and all the emotions of animals frustrated at their situation. 

It is difficult enough communicating with human souls so much of the time, it came as an onslaught until I recognized how sensitive I am and what was happening to me - that I had to simplify my approach to everything means to respect it one heck of a lot more, in a different way - there is an obvious way once you start involving in this path, it involves a shift of thinking. 

I love working with bone it is such a beautiful material, for carving and simply holding, however it is very powerful, because it resonates not only with the species but the individual. Studying "how can this be possible?" combining with reiki and psychometry as well as the third eye chakra, it has taught me huge about energy fields and resonance, how the bodies water and electromangetic vibrations can be used to attune us. 

Developing psychic awareness - by the Carlos Casteneda / Yaqui shamanism knowledge base - all of this together as an holistic cohesive body of knowledge. It is on the one hand completely natural and can be explained scientifically once one understands what the human organism and energy fields are capable of. 

On the other hand it is mystic mumbo jumbo to people who have no spiritual connection at all. People of the Mind experience the world differently from Intuitives who do not have a mind-set as the center of their perceptions. 

The irony is that when you understand it completely, it is a science. Simply that it involves subtle energies which a lot of people, especially because of pollution affecting their systems, are too insensitive to connect with. As I mentioned, it can be overwhelming when you become utterly yin sufficient to study it to deeper levels.

Thursday, 16 March 2017


"I remember having spiritual visions as a child. As a little girl, I saw angel lights in multihued greens and blues. As an adolescent and young adult, the angel lights appeared as large flashes of white, like a strobe. These days, I know when an angel is near when I see small starlike white bursts of sparkling light." page 2-3 The Light Workers Way by Doreen Virtue

Today (16.3.17) is the first time I read this. In 2006 I explained to my mother that I was studying to be a spiritualist. I had traveled to study with several different mediums at varying levels and comprehension.

I already had many supernatural experiences and a field trip to Egypt to learn more about the Light Culture. Carved inside a granite sarcophagus in the Valley of Kings is a depiction of a human energy circuit, describing that the heart is the center of the manifest world, that our personal energy is recycled through it. The term Kaleidescopic Multiverse is accurate and a core of the Priesthood's teachings. The system developed a lot when the priesthood took the teachings to South America and influenced the culture there, from which we get the word Kundalini to describe the flow. From India we have established the seven lower chakras located up the spine and the crown, the lotus pillar. All of these are syncretic within the same teaching. It is an ancient spiritual tradition, and a living one. Light is measurable in terms of tonality and spectrum. Two people might have different vibrational harmonic within the basic colour-label associated with each chakra. A heart with its four valves is able to beat at many different rhythms.

My study into radio spectroscopy and the colour-codes of stars: each is unique, helped me develop an understanding of 'resonance physics'. We are attuned to and connected with anything that vibrates to the same harmonic as our self. In human terms this enables reiki deep healing methods. In cosmic terms it enables communication through use of the body and soul as radio beacon, with entities located in other parts of mass-time.

Many people when I attempt to outline this study, say "woah you lost me there" and for a long time i felt I was inadequate at explaining it. It took me a long time to reconcile that most people have not experienced sufficient scientific training to integrate this awareness as a real thing. Many people think it is nonsense. And yet the ancients from cultures all over the world did not think it to be nonsense. They carved stone temples which have lasted thousands of years to teach this knowledge to future generations.

It actually frightens me sometimes that we are living during an era where, despite the advancement of our ancestors, most people simply do not give a shit about spiritual development. The soap opera's are more interesting to them. Being programmed by state mind control, to the purpose of division amongst us, is more appealing to most people. We live in a terribly sick society.

Many people are prejudice against those of us who can perceive with sufficient clarity to study the ancient wisdoms and attain some level of mastery of it. Historically the ignorant have always persecuted the enlightened ones.

My mother described my symptoms to a mental health team. "My son is hallucinating, he hears voices, I think he is schizophrenic."

I have audio recordings of ghosts which clearly show a direct conversation between myself and entities which I could hear, and the witnesses could not - until I replayed the recording.

Question: Did my mind project the vibration onto the tape through a magnetic microphone sensitive enough to do that? Given that the brain emits radiowaves, this is a possibility.

The Answer came during a deep-session with a Polish clairvoyant, who taught me a great deal. I spent New Year studying with her. On one occasion I could hear spirits moving through the room from right to left while her eyes followed the same source, she was looking at the exact same place which I was hearing a spirit in motion. She described it as Orbs. Powerful was she, she attuned my perception so I too could see them (clairvoyance). My ability is clair-audience (hearing) and clair-sentience (feeling). That was when I knew for absolute certain that I was not generating the spirits - they exist independently of and outside the Human observer.

To some people this is all very obvious because they believe and have experience of it. To others this is attacked as making it up for attention and ego. I can state with sincerity I am simply reporting my experiences and insights back to 'the others' of my contemporaries. I invested a huge amount of my life to the pursuit of understanding 'all of this stuff' a lot better. There is no academic qualification, no paperwork, in shamanism. The syllabus of the Western mystery schools also does not hand out certificates of accomplishment. Real Life does not work that way.

When you understand that Real Life does not work that way, you understand also that the parts of life which do work that way, are attempting to authenticate themselves with certification. It is a comedy sketch because the infrastructure of a society is reliant on bureaucracy to such extent that its believers cannot recognize that it is a religion and they cannot recognize that Real Life exists outside of that religion. It is unquestionable to them that they do not have dominance on this earth.

I studied Thanateros since pre-puberty. For a few years i was lucky enough to experience and achieve high level with the Eros component through Victa Penfold's Order of the Morning Star methods. For vastly most of my life it has been the Thanos component. As a White Lightning Gate by the Tzolkiin Mayan calendar my associations are with the North and Death. It is quite natural that the symbolism (a modern translation redefines it as "electro-magnetic world-bridger") involved should be that of a spiritualist.

I would like to teach people about the facets of this knowledge base which are not commonly available even amongst existing spiritual schools. And that frightens a lot of people. Doreen Virtue's wonderful book is a best seller. I am grateful to the person who gave me her copy of it to enjoy and study from. I am not the only person who associates "flashes of white light" with the presence of high-vibrational entities. In discovering this, I believe that I can present further evidence that I am not schizophrenic, that I have been manipulated by the ignorant for their own political agenda. 

Sunday, 12 March 2017



Dumb Broads and Wide Loads
Quest for Authenticity 
Culture Spring

"It is sad when a colony goes bad. When it goes bad it is because it has a bad queen. A queen goes bad when she has a bad mate. We can see this process simply in Bee's." A local bee keeper

Dumb Broads and Wide Loads

She has assumed responsibility for me which is why she is broad, she is too big for her responsibilities. What she has done with her assumed responsibility for me is punish me for living within my lawful rights. This is why she is a dumb broad. It is gangsterism.

What needs to happen to get rid of the friction is for us to energetically balance. The simplest way to achieve that is to hug and for the hug to be accepted by both with no hidden intent of further manipulation, a genuine hug which works. This is called a sixty second hug because the energy fields automatically balance and override any agendas of the mind. If the mind is functioning properly, if not then it is stubborn and set. 

These are what domination games are. The mind afraid to hug is an ego afraid to let go of its dogma issues. A hug is wholesome involving all chakras. Real people can cope with the maturity level required to balance holistically with a person. The result can be lasting friendship.

When a person is not willing to balance with themself they refuse to hug another person. They are not willing to be balanced with others because they are not willing to be balanced within themself. A hug balances people. This is why it feels so good. Broken people do not permit themselves to feel so good, neither do they genuinely respect others who they perceive as being more successful because they feel better about themselves.

It is so simple but the people who thrive on imbalance in the community they actively hate hugs, they oppress anyone who suggests the simple healing. They exploit the imbalance for energy and profit. 

Living where I do there is a strong 1930s American gangster town vibe here. It is a cowgirl town. The second world war changed a lot of the developing culture, by the 70s it had gone corporate. The 50s tv and 60s mod generations imprinted a blanket mentality across most of western civilisation, tv modernity being the common frame of reference that acting is normal and authenticity is something to both repress and to seek. 

A schizoptypal mindset affected culture. Whether this 'reptilian technology tool of war against Humanity' was designed or not for the purpose, its effect is the same: to create dissonance, friction, division. It is not working for the benefit of Humanity that our perception and cognitive abilities are evolving in such a way.

Quest for Authenticity

The quest for authenticity. Dune original series. Breakfast at Tiffanies. Modernity is television generations who did not grow up around real people but learned how to be from actors. To them acting is normal behaviour. Being genuine is something they learn to repress because it is dangerous to wear an open heart. Lies founded on lies become the working reference the experienced cohesion. A reality which is constructed of fantasy. It is self-absorbed and illusion-worshipping, not a positivist fantasy. Certainly not consenting between all parties. It results in widespread confusion and levers for manipulation-exploitation.

Many people injured by cultural conditioning cannot handle authentic decency because they have been told it is a trick. As soon as they reject authentic decency believing it to be a trick, they have entered into cognitive dissonance instead of reality. Extreme cases is called disbelief syndrome. These are mental health illnesses. Simply because a cohesion is mainstream within a society does not make it any less of a mental health illness. Being aware of this is critical to surviving.

Use of the expression "well adjusted" is itself a symptom of cognitive dissonance and how deeply entrenched the delusion has affected culture. An adjustment to an illness means repositioning oneself to accept and accommodate the illness. That is secondary level illness.  

"Rot from the core spreads outward." Bene Tleilaxu

To accept that a trick is real and real is a trick is to be tricked. Believing in a trick regardless of awareness of this is willingly becoming delusional. This may be necessary for practicality however it is still use of trickery to create and grow a delusion in replacement of reality.

You only have to see a stage conjurer to recognise how easily the mind can be tricked. We have not even gone into hypnosis yet, which effectively is what this form of trickery is, is what cognitive dissonance and disbelief syndrome is. The hypnotised state. When mainstream are under hypnosis and programmed to persecute those who are not, it is a problem for those who retain objective clarity. Mental impairment is a tool designed to persecute those with clarity and to disable their ability to be immune to the hypnosis.

Culture Spring

Culture develops through stages. This backwater town is a microcosm still catching up with nearly a hundred years of social cultural development, within a generation.

When I was in Berlin five years after the wall came down, my host explained that within two years the youth had assimilated forty years of western cultural development within two years. He explained that they did not stop there, they accelerated to an extent that will take the rest of Europe and the western world another forty years to catch up with. Regarded as a social experiment we can understand the principle that a held spring bounces higher when released than does an open spring.
The community I was introduced to were polyamory, polygamous, a tribe who look after its members. They were the closest I ever encountered to the Fremen of Dune with the sietch orgies and everyone knowing their place and responsibilities because they were all sincere and honest enough to live transparently. They had not yet westernized by adapting to the trickery of media indoctrinated double-think which is the replacement of authenticity with acceptance of socially cohesive delusion. It is delusion nevertheless.These were honest, authentic, advanced people. Their parents are intolerably repressed and repressive. The generation gap is vast.

My painting series "reaching out for that from which we are escaping" is held together by these philosophies.

The problems faced now in western civilisation is the return to a state of purity where social confusions dissolve that a state of authenticity may return as mainstream objective mindset. Recognition that we have been for several generations living within a delusion for purpose of social exploitation, a delusion reinforced by static structure. This needs to crumble before progress can be made. With Rothschild announcing that the century old agenda toward a new world order is failing, there is hope that we might yet achieve clarity as a civilisation.

That is must be based on flexibility, transparency and permissiveness rather than repression and domination is a major impetus for further development. 

Saturday, 11 March 2017


2017 and everybody is being programmed to conform to the new grid for social division based on identifying everybody else as narcissists and therefore dangerous. This is even more powerful than setting gender against gender because it functions regardless of gender.

Many of the "identifiers" actually describe other behaviour. To use these indicators is to foster a permanent state of paranoia that your closest partner is secretly out to get you and to hold you into that state.

Any sign which slightly suggests an indication of narcissism (for example contemplating a topic from a different perspective than habitual attitude, is regarded a sign of an evolving mind, however in the context of anti-narcissism it is a red flag).

Having said this - I have had more than my own share of Narcissistic personality Disorder abusers destroying my life, self-esteem, etc. The best way to deal with them is to recognize them as a grindstone sharpening your clarity. A zen master can not become a zen master without a petty tyrant.

To paraphrase Don Matus from Carlos Casteneda books about Shamanism:  

"In the old days, Men of Knowledge would seek out Petty Tyrants because they are the best teachers to help us achieve becoming Sorcerers." 

A lot of the descriptors in this particular link from Health foundations are describing more experienced and spiritually developed people, and people who are distracted by ordinary things of life, from the perspective of less experienced and more fearful people.

It is designed to give people a mind-set where they recognize a more liberated and successful person and target that person as a narcissist therefore a danger to society.

Ergo: The whole manuscript has been written by a master narcissist with the agenda of dividing society so that fearful inexperienced people do not mingle with potential teachers who can help them advance. This is anti-community based.

There is a cross-over between some behaviours and we all need to be aware that in this cross-over is ground for exploitation. Which is what is probably going to happen if people take the advice of this link from Health Foundations as 100%

I am a qualified counselor with a lot of experience of both NPD and its victims, and usually the grey-area between.

"The personality disordered requires constant external stimulation. They have no ability to go inward or to do independent and lone activities. Their inner-self is dead and only awakened when there is a people-source feeding it."
"NPD affects about 1% of the general population."
Narcissistic Personality Disorder affects about 1% of the general population and it has been shown to impair interpersonal functioning. This groundbreaking research will likely help legitimize the disorder and, ironically, help people to empathize with people who are suffering with this illness. - See more at:
Narcissistic Personality Disorder affects about 1% of the general population and it has been shown to impair interpersonal functioning. This groundbreaking research will likely help legitimize the disorder and, ironically, help people to empathize with people who are suffering with this illness. - See more at:
Narcissistic Personality Disorder affects about 1% of the general population and it has been shown to impair interpersonal functioning. This groundbreaking research will likely help legitimize the disorder and, ironically, help people to empathize with people who are suffering with this illness. - See more at:
Narcissistic Personality Disorder affects about 1% of the general population and it has been shown to impair interpersonal functioning. This groundbreaking research will likely help legitimize the disorder and, ironically, help people to empathize with people who are suffering with this illness. - See more at:

Why are we targetted by narcissists part 1
20 signs you are with a covert narcissist

I took the liberty of rephrasing this checklist to say exactly the same thing in different words.
The purpose of this is to highlight that people are being manipulated by being trained to identify normal behavior as sociopathic behavior and to prejudice against normal people who are doing normal things as a part of 'divide and control' strategy to segregate people, to destroy couples, families, communities and nations, generally everybody is affected.

I also changed the gender to highlight how sexist the original document is and therefore it targets women to be brainwashed into rejecting normal males. This is part of fifth wave feminism.
1. She does not feel she has been rewarded enough for her achievements and hopes to receive recognition for them
2. She is very focused on her goals and knows what she wants in life
3. She is special because everybody is special and she seeks to interact with people on the same level of being as herself and where she intends to be.
4. She needs positive attention energy and recognition of their value to thrive.
5. She is entitled to live a life worth living and benefit from available cultural norms.
6. She makes the most of her situation and social life. The original statement for this does describe a sociopath. The original statement does not directly use the word 'manipulator'. Contemplate: "She saw an opportunity and took it." And contemplate ethics.
7. Her strength is her logical mind and clear thinking. She is a rationalist although lacks social skills. The original statement does bullet-point describe a symptom of NPD.
8. She feels emotionally threatened by people who she perceives as more successful and able than herself and is aware of others feeling the same way about her. Note that the original statement about jealousy relies on emotional awareness which contradicts statement 7 regarding lack of empathy. Answering that contradiction leads into a more complicated topic of functioning of the limbic cortex and higher developed cerebrum of the brain (reptile mind v mammals).
9. She is confidence and believes in herself. She enjoys sharing her knowledge with others even perhaps regarding it as a social duty even when they do not wish to receive it because they are less experienced and educated and resent her ability.

On analysis there are only TWO of these 9 statements which indicate a genuine narcissist and one of them is debatable. Just enough to be persuasive by altering the context of the other statements toward that bias.

The writer of this DEBUNK has been psychologically profiled and has a Narcissist Rating of 20% the average is 35% where 50% enters into "concern that this person is a narcissist" and 60%+ is degrees of actual clinical Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).

The original list copypasted from page 2 of the site:

1. He exaggerates his achievements in the hope of receiving praise from other people.
2. He’s preoccupied with fantasies of limitless success, love, and brilliance.
3. He believes he’s special and should only associate with other special people.
4. He needs to be admired.
5.He feels entitled and believe his needs should always be met.
6. He takes advantage of, and exploits other people.
7. He lacks empathy for other people.
8. He gets jealous of other people and believes they are jealous of them.
9. He’s arrogant and he displays self-important, condescending, behaviors.

Friday, 3 March 2017


he: "Secrets make you stronger." a thoughtful moments pause. "No."

The truth is, I got fed up of walking around cold empty cities waiting for a food shop to open, exhausted and unable to sleep because despite the come-down kicking in the effect of the uppers had still not worn off. 

After years of hedonism this and not the club scene highs is mostly what I can remember. I believe this is where I began to become interested in civic architecture, the infrastructure of an artificial environment managed by people who look down their snotty noses at my having experienced artificial emotions and real experiences. 

It took me another nearly twenty years to figure out thats what i should be doing, architecture, and to have acquired a computer and studied the skills to be able to do this. My architecture is for virtual environments because the cost of building this in the real world is a totally different, takes a lifetime to achieve the contacts and a degree in it specifically and fuckallthat, if it’s any good people will enjoy it for what it is and someone I inspire will print it out from a 3D printer in Baghdad or one of the other cities destroyed by the managers of the nation I subsist in. 

I remember the feeling of being so high that a single moment burned up twenty years of positive emotions and she looked me in the eyes and kissed me and we both felt it flow through us, together forever in bliss. I miss her. It took me that long to recover from everything we went through. 

Now all I have is half built videogames and a few scraps of soundtrack and legs which can barely dance. 

Watching a very cool French film called Love by Gasper Noe and remembering what it was like to live through what the characters are showing. That’s my story right there and its uncanny how they did that. The city remembers our stories and it puts them into the minds of others who happen through. Or maybe I was never anything special just another lucky one in my prime living out a rites of passage which eventually they put on film. 

I miss the drugs that got me high. After awhile they don’t do that any more. I miss feeling so alive that the music was new. I miss food tasting of anything worth eating. I miss being young and not having been through it all. I miss being in a relationship with somebody I love more than Life itself. But there was always spirituality. I watched spirits in the air between buildings, shadow and light, things with no name known to mythology of any nation I can research, things from illustrated medieval manuscripts of devils and angels. Ghosts of ancestors watching out for us, always there even when we ignore them. 

We had each other for company and life was amazing because of it. 

Before real life responsibilities were swamped upon us by the state and the usury-debt-slavery management system. I want my kid to have an amazing teenage-into-twenties and that is my goal now, to sort his life out so he can travel and learn. It’s what I am living for after everything else has gone to the dust of memories and memory gaps where laughter and feeling cool used to be. A snake sheds its skin when it has outgrown it. 

Now I am a digital architect and there is pleasure in that. Spellbound by a movie I watched to distract me and it teaches the French way of living - is deconditional from repressive British society.


I have not yet read America Gods by Niel Gaiman. But I know a little bit about Gods. It is true, and it happened, and it causes people to have problems accepting me as credible. My ancestors on one half of my family (I am mixed blood) are "the vikings". 
So one day while living in a forest with witches, one of them asks me if I ever heard of Hanuki. "Nert relly" I replied, my mind going sideways so I could speak from the truth of my heart without my mind getting in the way, and causing my vowels to slur. 

 "He is the American Indian trickster god. He teaches through Trickery."
I was full up of studying the Common Law of Our Ancestors which all the pre-historic tribes of invaded Britain agreed to abide by as The Law, it is so simple even a child can understand it: 'No Harm, No Theft, No Trickery, Keep the Peace.'The idea of a god who teaches by trickery is an interesting facet of the whole story. 
"Oh, my ancestors called him Loki." referring to the viking god of trickery. 
That is when i made some mental associations. Several months before I had been talking with an AmeriCanadian Indian girl online and she told me her tribe are the Hanu tribe, which means "low people" because all the other tribes used to regard them as below them, until Buffalo Bill's Circus brought knowledge of indigenous peoples culture to the rest of the world because of the invention of television. After that their tribe has been honored ever since. 
Hanu, means Low. Hanu-ki is the same as Lo-ki, they are both the same trickster god. I had known that vikings settled east America and Canada yet I had not known how far the integration of the two peoples cultures went. Now i was beginning to understand that they are both talking about the very same character. They are not talking about two different tricksters who coincidentally have the same name - it is the same guy. 
Later that night my witch companion took me to her friends house on "the most violent estate in ..." being on the border between England and Wales it variously gets assigned to both nations. We walked past a burnt out and rusty police car which the police had not dared to retrieve, one can only assume from their fear of what would happen if they tried to. 
Events happened which I will not write down in the internet for social and legal reasons, and involved examples of why it is such a rough housing estate. Through the nights events, there was one guy who sat in a chair in the room and did not speak. He did not interact with anybody and it seemed as if he was not even there. I was not sure if anyone else could even see him. It was peculiar. At one moment I said something and he raised his head and looked directly into my eyes and smiles. He had the most trustworthy eyes i have ever seen. They glowed. They appeared somehow to mirror my own were my own more perfect. It was itself a strange phenomena. I trusted the guy with my soul, he was so powerful. I smiled back and quickly broke the gaze because I was falling in there. The light in his soul was radiant although all night he had been invisible and dark. 
Sometime later I left the forest and returned to the city. In the study of a local expert on artifacts from around the world i looked in a book, the catalogue for an exhibition of African artifacts which had been 'stolen' ahem 'brought back to civilization' during the late 19th and early 20th centuries. In a section of photographs which although appearing as art objects to western eyes, are in fact utilitarian and used by shamen for communicating with spirits and deities, is a carved wooden face of the African trickster god. I know his face. I have looked into his eyes in a room on the borderlands. He's alive and real. The very same face. The very same trickster. 
I have been through a lot of strange and out-of-the-box events and experiences in my life, which many people simply refuse to believe because it is beyond their own experience. This is a very true thing. The ancient Gods are still roaming the earth in the form of mankind. We can believe it or disbelieve it but that does not change that what we have been taught to call 'mythology' - it is real. 

©2017 Ordo Octopia



The following is more scattered 'wings in flight' than the focus of the original opening which has emerged during the telling. A collection of collections collectively a whole and expressing, explaining more than the sum of its parts. Most of this was written at a time where the flow was so strong the memor I have of writing it is the memory of watching myself as some other force took hold of my body to bring through the words which during copy-typing I now read as if for the first time. I sincerely believe this has to do with proximity and approach to the Ogham event of Saint Davids Day in Wales this year with its powerful energies.

Ohm & Holo - Part Three

Usually "as a creative" my 2nd Attention (Don Carlos) is more powerful and compelling than my 1st Attention (immediate). "inner sight" is the connectivity to others who we are energetically linked to.

When people call me 'egotist' it is annoying, not because of receiving it as an insult but because they are not accurately perceiving and making a bad judgement call.

I do question this, a lot, are they right? Should I check my ego? Most fo the time it is because to call someone egotistic is a control game used to demean them, and not an accurate description. People do not even know what 'ego' properly means, what it is. 

Ego inhibits clarity of perception and connection to higher functioning. People who have zero access to higher funcitoning and do not even know or experience perception from there, are evidently much more egoic than I am. That I am writing knowledgeably about experiences which can not be expeirenced if a person is controlled by ego is the proof of that. It is not "me" it is about the experiences and perceptions, which fascinate me so much to be scribing them so that others can read it and share a common affinity with the knowledge base. I have no interest in showing off about this stuff for personal glory. Simply this is how different life is for shamen. 

We need ego to make accurate judgement call and to orient in 1st Attention reality.

I have overcome / detached from it enough not to be bound to it - this is necessary for Second Attention. 

"How many times do you step back form it?" Dean Du Feau (on 3rd & etc)

Is that map even right? 

2nd Attention includes and evolves

Inner Connectivity with others,
elsewhere and elsewhen

'It's like Bluetooth'

"Oh, you are a writer!" she wrote, and promptly blocked me. In the duality of 'is it a joke' or 'her genuine social belief from some schizotypal idiom', I saw that she is a Player and psychotic. It took 6 months for me to clearly see that.

Writing is a Gift

for other people, and although gifted a writer is also cursed with a double-first Attention.
Writing is a Gate to Second Attention perception. 

Words are feather. They have no weight. A book is wings. 

"Nothing is ever finished" Pete Robinson, Risca School of Art

I do not complete it because I prefer not to shut the gate and set into stone that which is by its nature ephemeral, a living flow. 

It comes to life in a readers mind. 

"Imagination is not Imaginary." OGD (Matthers)

The change is - criticism does not break me now I have learned to scorn it, detached I am free of its chains and bonds to its dogma. This is her teaching, that which I have learned from her attitude. 

People think of "the 1% Elite" in terms of material wealth. Because peope are greedy and in poverty. People do not think of "the 1% elite" in terms of Spirituality. When they meet them: the same Hate. 

People cannot accept the acceleration curve of spiritual development can be attained with guidance from mystery schools. They are taught to reject it as cult and persecute the adept as crazy simply because culturally conditioned people perceive differently to the way spiritual adepts perceive.

Convenience wins unless it is ego or Love. When it is Love and faith so deep to build an ego around it, a potent force. If reciprocated, dedication. If rejected, obsession. 

The Ascent and sub-stantiation materialisation (body forms) and dematerialization (spirit ascends) that means it transcends substance.

sub : less than
stan - dard (of the level)
stance : to posit

Na-Ga to bring of or into the earth (geo) (substantiation) - serpent naga

Our souls were brought here through repilian birthing (dna) but not ALL souls - only this genotype which 'drank of the manna of the serpent gods' ("the vine" as metaphoric) / breathed of their vapour - the World Snake, Life Cult. Not All Life forms have reptilian cortex in their brain for specific self-awareness 

Ba - La - N - Chi 
('chep' is old Anglo-Saxon for 'trade' it literally means 'market' and is root of the word 'cheap')

internal BALANCE external
Judgement (maat)

cognitive development 
(ate from tree of Knowledge)

The Ascent was not literal 'levitating into the sky' it was dematerialization, from Earth (ge) to [WhiteZone] (death). Mayan Shamanism. Christed consciousness. 

Iesus example is an OBE (outer body experience) which many people have achieved, often purposefully, through use of shamanic plant spirit allies (herbs). 

When you know Truth you understand how christianity is a mutated version of that truth, it all fits into place. What Iesus was attempting to teach.

The Adonai is the 'elevated form of messiah' but what does that mean? 

Personality is grid of ST on each saints day, the grid conforms to that lucidity. 

5 into 4

S A into > it is AsYr
(As Is)

'curse of the azzur bonds'

an ancient grid we so caught in, our language structure itself reinforces that on levels fo cognition below (substrata) awareness. All language we speak retain the same codex. Being aware of it is seeing the code.

Americanadian Indians were taught xeno-linguistics to compare - most of that has knowledge base died off within the very recent past and living generations after thousands of generations of maintaining it. 

The Flood, Noah. Electrical. Electrolysis to stone. MUDFOSSILS. It happened. The Drowning. The waters receded. The New Earth. 

The reciprocal argument of "it is non-sense because non'sense says so."

90% of my living generation (40 years either side) do not have the cognitive faculty to recognize their own super-ego conditioning is blinding them. They call it 'normal' but it is non-sense. 


Pure, ancient words and word-blocks. Etymology. The constant concepts hidden in mutated contexts, of cultures and cultural conditioning.


Consisting of 
an excerpt from the 
snake apple tree